


Ship of dreams

by Evil_Keshi



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, F/M, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Sexism, RMS Titanic, Romance, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-09-19 02:36:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9414272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Keshi/pseuds/Evil_Keshi
Summary: TheCafé Parisienamazed Tina when she first stepped inside the sun-lit veranda, so charming with its beautiful view on the sea. Only the gentle rolling of the Titanic underneath her feet told her that she wasn't actually in the French city but aboard the largest ship of her time, leaving Southampton for New York...And for her new life as the wife of Percival Graves.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Here I come with a new AU and this time, I take you on a journey aboard the Titanic... This won't be a total copy of the movie as I intend to add and change many things, but some scenes from the movie will make their way into this. I hope you will like my own take on the story! Just for your information, the working title of this is _I will go down with this ship_ , certainly because of my absolutely lame humour.
> 
> I take my sources regarding the Titanic herself from the helpful [website](https://nmni.com/titanic/Home.aspx) of the exhibition in Belfast, where you can find pictures of the ship and the places I mention in the story.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

  


Credence gasped as he took long gulps of the salty air of the sea, clutching onto the handrail at the front of the ship. The churning feeling in his stomach didn't go away. They had been onboard for less than two hours and already, the surge of the waves under the Titanic made him sick, weak, sweaty.

"Credence?"

A voice suddenly startled him in spite of its softness and audible fondness, and the young man whined as a new wave of nausea hit him.

"Are you feeling unwell?" the same voice asked, this time followed by a strong hand on his shoulder.

Credence didn't need to turn around to see the concern on Percival Graves' face. He knew. Also, he was certain that the slightest move would make him throw up, so he stood perfectly still.

"I... Seasick," he managed to whisper, closing his eyes as the bile rose in his throat. "Sorry."

"You should rest," Percival urged him. "Follow me, our suite is ready now. That is what I came to tell you, actually."

" _Your_ suite," Credence mumbled as he carefully turned around, sagging against Percival's body as his wobbly legs refused to support his weight. "S... Sorry..."

"It is quite alright," Percival chuckled, although his amusement was cut short at Credence's pained moan. "Well, let us get you settled. You will feel better after some sleep."

They walked slowly across the main deck to return to their chambers and Credence, through a dazed fog, noticed the elegance of the furniture in the luxury suite they would stay in during their journey to New York. He should not be surprised - the Graves family's fortune was not a secret, especially not to their son's butler. He glanced at the large bed in the bedroom, so appealing at the moment with its plush cushions and soft-looking sheets, knowing fully well, however, that his own bed would be narrower...

Or not. His eyes widened when Percival pushed him towards the large bed but he didn't have the time to protest: the other man had already guessed that Credence would not accept immediately and he pressed a finger against the younger man's thin lips.

"Please," he said. "I want you to rest properly. No one will bother you here, I will make sure of that. Oh, and you are off duty for this whole afternoon and evening."

Vanquished, Credence gave a slight nod and Percival helped him to climb on the bed, then took off the boy's shoes himself, failing to catch the faint blush on his butler's pale cheeks.

"Thank you," he whispered as he settled under the blanket, so soft and warm.

Percival didn't say anything, just smiled and ruffled the boy's dark hair on his way out of the suite.

  


  


The _Café Parisien_ amazed Tina when she first stepped inside the sun-lit veranda, so charming with its beautiful view on the sea. Only the gentle rolling of the ship underneath her feet told her that she wasn't actually in the French city but aboard the largest ship of her time, leaving Southampton for New York...

And for her new life as the wife of Percival Graves.

Glancing to her right, behind her sister, she could see the man himself, standing by a window, seemingly lost in his thoughts as he watched the sun set down, the last sunrays of the day illuminating the waters with hues of pink and orange.

Tina didn't want to marry this man. She... Well, she couldn't say that she didn't like him per se, because she did, actually. He had always been nice to her, after all. Maybe too nice, considering her own difficulties to speak with him properly: more often than not, her family's expectations had weighed on her shoulders while she tried to make small talk with Percival and the pressure had made her snappy, irascible. Oh, well, no need to sugar-coat it: she had been completely horrible to him, and several times in a row to top it all. She wanted to cry in shame every time she remembered his reaction: he had apologised on a soft tone, said that he didn't mean to bother her and left.

Another man would have complained to her parents, reported her bad temper. Her fiancé had done none of it. She felt even more remorseful for that. As far as she knew, Percival didn't want to marry her either - or anyone else, on that matter: the man was thirty-five, quite handsome (even she was forced to admit as much) and had been single for years. No love affair of any sort had ever made it into the rumours rich people exchanged between themselves over dinner.

"Tina," her sister softly whispered in her ear. "I know what you are thinking about. Stop it."

She snorted inelegantly and immediately faked a cough to hide the sound. So easy to say of Queenie, already married, and to the man she loved nonetheless. Jacob was waiting for them in New York, managing his successful bakery while his wife gave her sister all the support she could.

"Please," Queenie added as a waiter ushered them to their seats, "Try to enjoy the next few days..."

She didn't say _before you marry him_ but Tina heard the words anyway. She sighed as discreetly as she could while she sat, tensing a little when her fiancé settled down next to her - of course. The journey to New York was a golden opportunity for them to get to know each other better... If she had known, when she was but a little girl, that she would end up marrying a man she didn't love only because her family needed money, maybe she would have considered going out more, accompanying her sister to parties instead of reading all night. Maybe she would have fallen in love, like Queenie and Jacob, at a dance. Maybe she would have had a fiancé she actually wanted to be with.

Instead, she was nineteen and doomed to spend her life with a man she knew she could never bring herself to think of with fondness.

"Good evening, Tina," Percival greeted her with a tiny smile. "I hope your and your sister's suite is to your liking?"

Good Lord, he was so nice!

"Yes," she groaned - she couldn't help it!

Sensing her bad mood, Percival's smile faltered and Queenie elbowed her sister in the ribs.

"I... I see," he whispered hesitantly. "I'm sorry for..."

"Please," Tina interrupted him, speaking no louder than he had. "Please, stop apologising to me. You are not... This is not your fault, Percival, and I think you know that."

"Well, I... I understand that this situation is not one you dreamed of," he started tentatively, "and if you prefer that I leave you alone during the journey, I will. Just say the words."

Way, way too nice.

"Actually, perhaps it would be better that we spend some time together," Tina reluctantly suggested, fidgeting with the hem of her dress sleeve. "To... Well, you know why."

"Indeed," Percival answered. "But if you wish for me to leave at any time, please..."

"I will let you know," Tina promised. "After all, it would not be the first time I was rude to you, would it?"

Percival chuckled but was too much of a gentleman to agree with her and point out all the times she had been mean to him. Tina was glad when her fiancé's father called out his name to draw his attention and he turned to the other side, ending their discussion. Across the round table, behind lots of glasses and bottles of wine, her mother smiled to her in approval, probably because she had caught the brief amusement on Percival's face after his short conversation with Tina.

Well, at least one person on this damned ship was happy.

  


  


Dinner felt interminable. Tina was glad when the men said they would go for a short walk across the deck and didn't ask the ladies to accompany them; however, when Percival turned down the invitation, she was suddenly scared that he would require some time alone with her. Relief crashed over her when he didn't: he merely wished a good night to his mother and to all the other women sitting at their table, including Tina, as well as her sister and mother. For the first time since she had arrived in the café, the young woman felt like she could breathe freely again.

Her good mood didn't last long: by the time she went back to her suite with Queenie after a few more minutes spent in the café, chatting and making friends with the other young women, their mother was waiting for them, a package in her hands. She looked too delighted to Tina's liking and she feared for a moment that this carefully wrapped box, with a wonderful ribbon on top, contained a gift from Percival. She would not know what to make of it.

"I have something to show you, Tina dearest," her mother said, motioning both of her daughters to join her nearby her bed, where she laid the package. "Open it."

Tina complied with shaky hands. Next to her, Queenie looked curious and excited, more than her sister, and Tina almost offered her to unwrap the gift and take it for herself, whatever it may be.

Inside the box, she found a beautiful nightgown of white taffeta; Queenie gasped and her hand immediately reached out to touch the silk, so soft and delicate under her fingertips.

"Mother, this is... exquisite!" she exclaimed with enthusiasm while Tina remained speechless. "This must have been so expensive though, how did you afford this?"

"Actually, I did not buy it," their mother explained and immediately, the fear of it being a token of Percival's affection came back with full force in Tina's heart. "My aunt gave it to me when I married your father, my girls. I could not wear it much, as I was with child soon after our wedding, but it is so beautiful still, almost unused! Tina, I thought you should have it. Surprise Percival on your wedding night, maybe?"

Tina's first reaction was to blush to the roots of her hair at her mother's scandalous suggestion - one did not discuss a wedding night like that! Well, she did with her sister but because they were _sisters_ , for Pete's sake! Who could she turn to other than her married sister and best friend? Hearing her mother talking about... _that_ , even barely implying it, was something Tina did not wish to hear again. Ever.

But then, the actual meaning of her mother's words hit her. The wedding night. With Percival Graves. Oh, God.

The nightgown slipped through her lax fingers as she took a step back, suddenly feeling sick. Tina could certainly not escape it, no matter how much she dreamed of it: a wife was supposed to please her husband, especially on their first night together. Her first night, her first time with a man, and it had to be with him? A man she barely knew, a man she did not love, a man older than her and whose behaviour in bed she could not even imagine. How... How would he...? Would he be gentle like he had been so far in their short conversations? Or would he take his pleasure and pay her no heed?

Tina escaped her suite with tears rolling down her cheeks and she didn't turn around when she heard Queenie and her mother call for her. She didn't care that she bumped into women and men alike as she ran to the main staircase, her heels clacking on the wood, her dress sticking to her thighs when she finally made it to the desk and kept running against the wind.

She wanted out. She could not stay on the Titanic, no matter how wonderful the ship was, not when everything reminded her of her future life, a life she did not want. As she cried, she wished to be back in Southampton, to have never heard about Percival Graves and certainly not to...

"Ouch!" someone cried out when she collided with them, blinded by her own tears and unable to see a thing.

The force of the impact sent her falling backwards and to the floor with a yelp while the stranger in front of her swayed on their feet and dropped a notebook and a pencil. Tina lifted her head a little and first saw a pair of worn, brown leather shoes, then two long legs, a blue coat and a silly dark blue bowtie that had seen better days and finally, a startled face crowned by a mop of red hair. And freckles. So many freckles.

"I'm so sorry!" the man exclaimed as he held his hand out to help her back on her feet, "I wasn't watching where I was... Are you crying? Did I hurt you so bad? I'm so sorry, miss, I..."

The young man was cut short when Tina, unable to refrain herself, collapsed into the arms of an horrified redhead and started to sob. Ugly sobs that made her whole body shake against the firm chest of a perfect stranger.

Said stranger looked around helplessly, but it was late and few people were walking on their part of the deck at this instant. He was alone with a crying woman who, judging by the fine quality of her dress, belonged to the first class passengers. It had never happened to him before. What should he do?

Fortunately for him, Tina soon stepped back, red-eyed and sniffling, but more aware of her surroundings.

"I... I'm sorry," she half-sobbed and half-whispered, "This is not your fault, Sir. I apologise for my behaviour, it was..."

She stopped herself when a hand grabbed her own to shake it.

"Newt," the young man said with a smile, although he did not quite dare to look at her. "Newt Scamander, no Sir-nonsense. Just Newt. What are you doing out here so late, miss?"

She didn't answer. She would never admit to anyone that the mention of a wedding night had scared her to death - she wasn't supposed to.

"What about you?" she shot back, quickly wiping away the glistening tears on her cheeks. "A man on his own, out so late... One could think you are looking for trouble."

"Perhaps I found it?" Newt said with a short laugh, a bit bashful, and he quickly bent down to snatch his notebook and his pencil from the floor. "I swear, miss, I was not doing anything bad. But I understand, a third class passenger like me, lurking around the first class quarters... Suspicious, isn't it?"

"I..." Tina started with a flush, "I did not mean to imply..."

Newt shrugged but didn't defend himself any longer and Tina didn't know what to say. She was supposed to know how to make small talk, a skill she had mastered during her childhood - although it did not work too well with Percival and apparently, neither did it with this quirky fellow. He was watching her from behind the curtain of his floppy hair, wayward strands of red hiding his blue eyes, and suddenly she wanted to reach out and brush the hair away from his face.

"Would you like to watch the dolphins with me, miss?" he blurted out awkwardly, his eyes suddenly shifty and staring everywhere but at her.

"My name is Tina Goldstein," she introduced herself as she realised she hadn't given him her name after he had done so himself. "And... why?"

"I don't know," Newt shrugged, turning to his right to watch the waves of the sea. "I thought you might need a friend... Uh, I wouldn't want to assume, of course, maybe you only need company for a short moment or maybe you don't need it at all, I just... Dolphins are great, did you know? I was watching them actually, when you bumped into me. I draw them."

He shyly nodded to his notebook.

"May I see your drawings?" Tina asked, feeling herself relax as she spoke with this young man.

"Yes, I guess," Newt mumbled, his cheeks turning a bright shade of red. "I... I warn you though, I'm a zoologist, not a professional artist."

He handed her the leather-bound notebook at last and Tina's eyes widened when she saw the first drawings, small monkeys that seemed to be mocking her even on the paper.

"Not a professional?" she repeated his previous words with a little giggle. "Newt... This is wonderful!"

As the zoologist looked down, his face turning the colour of his hair, Tina wondered why talking to Percival couldn't be as easy as speaking with Newt.

  


  


Unaware of the turmoil in Tina's heart and mind, Percival walked back to his suite after dinner, his pace even and slow while all he wanted to do was to hurry. When he stepped inside his chambers, he made sure to lock the door so as to not be disturbed by anyone - his parents, a steward, another passenger who might have wanted a word with him, who knew? Once he was done, he entered the bedroom and took off his shoes, his eyes wandering and eventually stopping on Credence's sleeping form in his bed.

He looked better. Less pale, less nervous. Percival made as little noise as possible while he undressed himself, then he climbed on the bed next to the young man. He didn't wake up but at the new source of warmth next to his body, Credence rolled around in his sleep to get closer and Percival wrapped his arms around him, cuddling him and softly kissing his bare shoulder. The sigh of contentment that Credence let out against his neck was one of Percival's favourite sounds in the world.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading so far, I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! So many things going on already... Feel free to leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments, it would be really helpful (and much appreciated!) I hope to see you soon! ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for your support and enthusiasm on the first chapter, I'm really happy to know you like this story! I hope you will enjoy this new chapter :)

  


Either her mother understood Tina better than she thought or Queenie had had a word with her, but she didn't get in trouble for running away the previous night. Her mother greeted her as per usual that morning, then she urged her daughters to go out and enjoy the ship and her many activities; all Tina would enjoy, however, was her time alone with her sister.

"How do you feel?" Queenie immediately asked once they were out of earshot, walking around the first class private promenade.

"You might want to be more specific," Tina mumbled, "About the nightgown? Percival Graves? The ship?"

"All of that," Queenie told her with more patience than Tina would ever.

"I met someone yesterday," she suddenly said as she discovered that she did not want to talk about her future husband.

A short silence fell between the sisters, until Queenie slowly said:

"I assume you are not talking about an old lady who wanted to invite you for tea?"

"I'm talking about a man."

Queenie closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose as she sighed.

"Tina... I understand that this situation is tough for you but it doesn't mean that you should go and have an affair with the first man you..."

"An affair?" Tina echoed her words. "Good Lord, Queenie, no! We... We only spoke! He showed me his drawings and we watched dolphins together, that is all!"

"And yet, you are telling me about him," her sister pointed out. "Why?"

Tina fell silent. Why, indeed? Because for the first since she knew she would have to marry Percival, she felt something else than dread at the sight of a man? In the span of the few hours they had spoken together, Newt Scamander had made her feel more alive and happier than she had ever been in the few minutes spent in Percival's company. She was probably being unfair toward Mister Graves, who had never meant to make her uncomfortable, but... She couldn't help it.

"Tina..." Queenie sighed as if she had read her sister's thoughts. "Do you... Do you plan on seeing him again?"

"What? No! Of course not," she sputtered, even though her heart had started to beat faster at the mere idea. "Besides, this is a huge ship, we will probably never see each..."

"Miss Tina!" someone called for her right as she and Queenie set foot on the main deck, "Miss Tina!"

Oops.

Queenie's eyes narrowed as a slender man in a blue coat made his way toward them, a bright grin cutting his face in half. He faltered in his goofy gait as he noticed that Tina was not alone as he had obviously thought one minute ago and his smile turned into a shy curl of his lips.

"G... Good morning," he stammered as he stopped in front of the two girls, "Miss Tina and miss...?"

"This is my sister Queenie, Queenie, this is Newt... Scamander," she quickly added before her sister could think that they were on a first name basis - although it was probably too late for that already.

"This is a pleasure," Newt said as he broke in a little curtsy for Queenie, whose eyes started to gleam with amusement. "Miss Tina, could I... have a word with you?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Tina answered, trying not to mind the weight of her sister's gaze on her, "Queenie, do you mind if we...?"

"No, please, do!" she exclaimed with a little too much enthusiasm. "I will wait right here."

Meaning, she would watch them like an hawk and wait for Tina's return to hear her story. The young woman tried not to feel too nervous as she took a few steps aside with Newt, until they reached the handrail at the front of the ship, not unlike the previous night, when they had laughed together while they watched the dolphins.

They started to speak at the exact same time:

"Would you..." Newt started.

"Are you...? Oh. Please, go first," Tina politely suggested.

Blushing, Newt avoided her gaze as the tip of his boot scratched the perfectly clean floor of the deck.

"Uh, thank you," he cleared his throat. "There is... There is a party in the third class general room tonight. I... I was wondering if perhaps you would like to go..."

"With you?" Tina asked, realising too late how bad it sounded as she saw the flash of hurt across Newt's freckled face.

"Well, I... Yes. I know, miss Tina, that I am not a rich man but I have enough money to buy you a drink, would you agree to go with me."

Feeling bold all of a sudden, Tina lightly rested her hand on Newt's forearm and squeezed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I did not mean it like that. Mister Scamander, you have to know..."

"Newt," he interrupted her. "Please."

She bit her lip. She wanted to use his first name, she really did, but she didn't think it would be quite appropriate, considering her situation and what she was about to tell him. Her hand still lay on his arm, though. That wasn't appropriate either.

"Newt," she finally gave in, "I must tell you something... I... I have a fiancé. I will be married as soon as we arrive in New York."

"Let's pray we never make it to New York," Newt grumbled, before he spoke louder, "Does he make you happy?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Your fiancé," the redhead explained softly. "Does he make you happy?"

"I..."

She trailed off. How could she tell him the truth without making Percival sound like a horrible person? Because he wasn't, and maybe that was the worst in this mess: if he had been a bad man, maybe she could have hated him and not blamed herself for it.

"You hesitate," Newt said on a gentle tone. "I take it this is not what you dreamed of?"

"Not at all," she admitted. "This isn't a marriage of love. His family is rich, mine needs money. I... I'm so sorry, this is not a proper discussion, I should..."

"Please," Newt cut her short, covering her hand with his own. "All I ask for is a dance tonight. Perhaps I can make you feel a little happier, at least one evening. I will wait for you by the clock of the main staircase, at eight tonight. If you don't join me this evening, I will understand and I shall leave you alone, I promise."

On these last words, Newt raised her hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on her skin, before he flashed her a smile and turned around to leave. Petrified and blushing like a tomato, Tina remained frozen, until her sister appeared before her eyes.

"Well..." she drawled, "Mister Scamander sure looks quite charming, does he not?"

  


  


Credence awoke with his head on Percival's chest, above his heart. He could hear its steady beat in his ear, lulling him back to sleep, but the warm feeling of fingertips tracing curls and lines on his back made him open his eyes.

"Mister Graves," he mumbled out of habit.

"We are alone, Credence," the other man informed him, resting his palm flat across the pale shoulder blades.

"Percival," the younger one started over, "Good morning."

"Good morning, darling. How are you feeling? Still nauseous?"

"No," Credence answered, lifting his head to stare into Percival's brown eyes, dark but warm, like chocolate. "I feel better than yesterday, at least while I'm lying down."

"Good. Would you like a tour of the ship today? I can show you around, if you feel good enough once you're on your feet. What do you say?"

Credence worried his lower lip between his teeth, suddenly shy to meet his lover's gaze, and his fingers began to shake slightly on Percival's chest.

"What is it?" the older man immediately asked in concern.

"I would love to," Credence finally whispered, kissing the other's jaw, stubble prickling his lips. "But... Aren't you supposed to spend some time with your fiancée?"

Percival could hear the pain in Credence's voice as he mentioned Tina and he felt his own throat burn at the question. He didn't want this peaceful morning to be ruined and yet, he could not blame his lover for asking. The situation was as painful and cruel to the boy as it was to him.

"I don't think she wants to," Percival told him. "She said we should, but it was clear in her eyes that she only suggested it to be nice. She probably hates me, to be honest."

"How could she?" Credence wondered aloud. "You do not wish for this wedding to happen any more than she does."

Percival sighed. Credence had a point and yet, he couldn't be mad at Tina for her behaviour; he could understand her situation. Sometimes, though... He felt like he was the only one genuinely trying to know her, the only one to think that maybe they could be friends, that maybe it could help their situation... Understanding each other's feelings about the matter would certainly do that.

On his part, Percival knew that he would never be able to love her, for several reasons that all came down to one person, the one he currently held in his arms. He could barely imagine himself falling in love with any man other than Credence, so a woman... Impossible.

If only he could spare his lover the pain of going through all the preparations for the wedding! He knew how much the mere thought of him spending time with Tina hurt the young man and to them, this journey across the ocean meant much more than the opportunity to get acquainted with Percival's fiancée: it meant their last days of total freedom.

Percival ran his hand lightly through Credence's dark hair.

"I wish loving you was enough," he whispered.

" _You_ are enough," the younger man assured him, trailing kisses up and down his neck. " _I_ wish you understood that."

Two strong hands settled on his hips.

"I think I might need a reminder," Percival whispered against Credence's parted lips, before he closed the short distance and kissed him properly.

Behind the locked doors of the suite, unbeknown to the other passengers walking the hallways, Percival and Credence celebrated their love, oblivious to the world around them. Tangled in the bed sheets, the lines of their bodies blurred together as they moved, holding hands, Percival's face hidden in the crook of Credence's neck so that he could whisper endless _I love you_ in his ear.

  


  


Tina pretended to feel unwell that night, to escape the dinner earlier and wait for Newt Scamander by the staircase. Queenie knew about that, of course, and she would cover up for her sister while she was down the third class room. Reluctant at first ( _you don't know him at all, Tina!_ ), she had eventually accepted to let her sister go. Tina had promised to be careful, to go back to her suite if anything that she didn't like happened and to look for the ship stewards if needed. Queenie had given her a satisfied nod and let her go, allowing her to enjoy at least one night free of responsibilities and nervous or rude replies to Percival Graves.

As her hand caressed the balustrade of the staircase, her heels echoing steadily on the oak of the stairs, Tina briefly wondered how her fiancé would react if he knew about her little escapade. Probably not well.

The thought vanished as quickly as it had popped in her mind when she saw Newt, waiting for her under the clock as promised. He smiled at her as soon as his eyes landed on her, a bright smile, so happy and relieved that Tina suddenly didn't remember why she had been so hesitant to come. The mere sight of him, clad in his blue coat, made a grin curl up her own lips.

"Good evening, Miss Tina," he greeted her with a little bow of his head, offering his arm.

She smiled wider and delicately laid her hand across his blue sleeve, then she let him lead her through the ship, towards the third class rooms. She had never visited these parts of the Titanic, lest her mother have a stroke, and she looked around with eyes full of curiosity. Although the furniture could not compare with the luxury suites of the first class passengers, Tina realised that it was still stylish, just like the other quarters of the ship. The Titanic truly was a wonder, comfortable to all her passengers, while the same journey on board of another ship would have been far less enjoyable to the poorer of them.

"Are you ready?" Newt asked when they stopped in front of a closed door, behind which they could hear music.

Tina gave a firm nod.

The first thing she saw when she entered the room was... nothing much, actually. The wall of smoke coming from all the lit cigarettes surrounded her like a thick fog and she could barely make out the silhouettes of the people next to her. The room smelled like beer and sweat but the music was so joyous, the laughs around her so merry and loud, that she could only associate the bad smell to a real party. Suddenly, it didn't smell so bad anymore.

Women were dancing, kids were clapping their hands, men played music that she had never heard before, used that she was to orchestral recitals and what her mother would call _proper music_. Certainly not this... This...

"Irish jig," Newt informed her when she asked. "Those are uilleann pipes and fiddles, Irish instruments."

"How do you know all of that?"

"I have travelled a lot," he explained with a bashful shrug, "Although not always in such good company."

He blushed like a lobster at that when, really, she should have been the one flushing, and she decided to put him out of his misery.

"Where have you been to?" she redirected the topic to his travels and his job.

"Oh, uh... A bit of everywhere, really. I've been to Africa a few times - that's where I drew the monkeys. I also travelled across Europe and I used to love Rome, until I accidentally set free a couple of _Nyctereutes Procyonoides_ and their baby in a tea room."

"A couple of what?" Tina asked, confused, and her brows furrowed at the strange name.

"Oh, raccoon dogs. You know, the dogs with long grey fur, a face that looks quite a bit like the raccoon - hence the name..."

Tina shook her head. She couldn't not say she knew a lot about animals but she could make the distinction between a cat and a dog just fine, which, in her eyes, was more than enough.

"And how exactly did you happen to set free three dogs in the middle of a tea room?" Tina wondered, fighting the joyous laughter that threatened to overcome her as she spotted Newt's discomfited expression.

"That, my dear, is a story for another time," he answered, his eyes crinkling at the corners while he smiled brightly. "For now, would you like to dance?"

Tina nodded in earnest, telling herself that she was _not_ excited at the thought of Newt taking her hand and laying one on her waist to bring her closer to his body, and the young man led her to the centre of the room, amongst the other dancers. That was when she remembered that this was an Irish jig.

"I... don't know how to dance the jig," she admitted, forced to speak a little louder now that they were in the middle of a cheering and singing crowd, closer to the music as well.

"Do you think that I know?" Newt exclaimed. "The only dance I manage is the hippopotamus mating dance, so..."

Tina's eyes widened and she was unable to tell whether Newt was being completely honest or just trying to make her laugh. It worked anyway, but her bubbly laughter turned into a shriek yelp when her partner started to dance.

Perhaps _dance_ was not the proper word, though... She then realised that Newt had told her the truth: the man could not dance to save his life. Yet, he was taking her hands and leading her into a merry but faulty jig, leaping with her, holding onto her waist to lift her in the air, going right then left, spinning her around.

Tina felt like they danced for hours, never taking a break, and she quickly lost track of time. She didn't think once of her fate, of her upcoming wedding, not even to Queenie who was probably waiting up for her, no. For the first time in weeks, she felt free. She could not focus on anything but the quirk of Newt's smile, his hands, both gentle and firm on her body, and the happiness that filled her heart with warmth at the mere sight of him.

Soon - too soon, it seemed - Newt whispered in her ear that the clock was about to strike midnight. She heard the regret in his voice, clear like the purest crystal, when he suggested that he escorted her back to the main staircase, from where she would find her way back to her suite easily enough. She wished her upbringing had not been so strict, she wished she felt bold enough to invite him inside her room... But she did nothing of the like.

When they left the general room and found themselves far from the dancers and the warmth of the crowd, Tina shivered lightly, but not enough to pass unnoticed: Newt made a quick job of taking off his blue coat to drape it over her own shoulders.

"I have spent a wonderful evening with you," she told him when they reached the staircase. "Thank you, Newt, really. I'm glad you sought me out this morning."

The redhead looked a little taken aback.

"You... Really?" he stammered, with a little, pleased spark in his eyes. "You enjoyed the party? Well, I'm... Happy. And so relieved!"

"Why?" Tina laughed around the word as she realised how genuine his relief was - had he been so worried that she would dislike the third class' enjoyments?

"Well..." he mumbled. "People usually say that I am not much fun to be around... They find me boring."

Tina's heart gave a little twinge at his words. How could they? How could they say that about this wonderful man? She wanted to find every single person who had hurt this beautiful, bright soul with their harsh comments, and shake them until they begged for mercy and took back their hurtful words.

"I believe that you are everything but boring," she whispered in his ear, tiptoeing to reach his level. "And I felt happier with you this evening than I have felt in a long time. I mean it, Newt, thank you."

Tina kissed his cheek gently, revelling in the sudden redness that marred his face and his neck at the touch, and she took a step back. She took off the coat he had placed on her shoulders to give it back to him, but he shook his head.

"K... Keep it," he offered her, still recovering from her unexpected and bold kiss, however light. "I... would not want you to... to catch a cold. You can give it back tomorrow... I have a feeling I'm going to spend quite a... a lot of time on the main deck. You know, if... If you happened to be looking for me."

On these last words, Newt blushed some more then turned around and strode down the hallway they had walked together a few minutes prior, Tina's arm around his. She watched him go until he took a turn and she could not see him anymore, no matter how much she wanted to.

Only then did she walk down the stairs to go back to her suite, a little spring in her step and a huge grin on her face.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Feel free to drop a comment, it would mean the world to me :) I'll see you soon!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you for the support you have given this story so far, I love reading your comments and I'm squealing every time I receive one, so thank you! I hope you will enjoy this third chapter... ;)

  


When she woke up on the morning of her third day on board of the Titanic, Tina felt like she had fallen asleep a week ago and had not been awoken since. She must have been trapped in a dream, for she could not find any other explanation to the happiness she felt. The source of this unexpected and overwhelming emotion, however, she knew very well: it all came down to her meeting with Newt, this sudden twist of fate that had been the start of something wonderful - which she did not want to see the end of, not yet. She knew though, she knew that as soon as they arrived in New York, this sweet story would be over.

As always when she merely fathomed the thought of living in the big city with her new husband, despair filled Tina's heart and she felt the burn of tears at the corners of her eyes. She tried to hold them back, unwilling to bother Queenie who, judging by her slow and even breathing that Tina could hear from her own bed, was still asleep. If she started sobbing now, her sister would wake up and catch her, but causing Queenie's worry was the last thing Tina desired right now.

Remaining as quiet as she could, the young woman bit into her soft sheets, muffling her cries when the tears rolled freely down her cheeks, marring her face with red blotches. She could not refrain herself anymore and if she could not cry in her own bed, where could she? But in a few days, a week at most, even her bed would not be hers only... She would lie next to Percival, in a bed she knew would feel more like _his_ than _theirs_.

And now that she had met Newt... She realised, with more acuity than ever before, everything she would miss and everything she would never get to experience because she would be married at nineteen, pregnant at twenty, and forced to tend a house she did not want to call hers, for the rest of her life. Perhaps, if luck found its way to her in the middle of her misery, the children she would have with her husband would bring her the joy she could not find elsewhere.

Tina might never have known the love of a man before but that did not mean she was unable to judge her feelings for her suitor properly: she knew that what she felt for him was not, could not be, love. Even if she searched her heart, deep down, she could find nothing close to marital affection, nor did she find the will to give Percival a chance. She might have, although defeated and resigned, until two days ago.

But then she had met Newt. Perhaps it was not love that she felt for him, as she had barely spent a whole day in his company, but Lord, how these hours, and the mere memory of them, made her feel happy and alive! The young man had made her smile in genuine amusement when Percival Graves had only earned grim frowns and forced smiles, and Newt got to hear her laughter, they had spoken for hours about his travels and the animals he had seen, and he had also promised Tina that he would teach her a few tricks about drawing.

What had Percival promised her? What had he given to her, that she could compare to Newt's time, kindness, care and bright grins? Well, her fiancé was a kind and patient man, she owed him as much, but what else? All he had given her was a ring that felt too heavy on her finger and many occasions to cry, even if he did not know that.

A sob rocked Tina's small body at the unfairness of the situation, on the both of them. Or perhaps the three of them? Percival, eternal bachelor it seemed, suddenly had to marry a young woman that he did not know much about and who was, quite honestly, not overly friendly. Tina, nineteen and full of crushed dreams, was shaking and about to collapse at the mere prospect of feeling her fiancé's hands on her skin. And Newt... Who knew what the zoologist thought? But, if Tina had read him right, knowing that she was engaged to another man saddened him.

She believed that under other circumstances, they could have built something together, friendship at least, hopefully something more. When she thought of the redheaded man, when she dared to imagine how his own hands would feel as they caressed her body... The shivers that ran down her spine were nothing but pleasant. Had she been given a choice, regarding the man whose bed she would share... Tina knew whom she would have wanted to offer her first night to.

She whimpered in her pillow. What was the point of entertaining this kind of thoughts? It would not change her fate. Even if she fell in love with Newt Scamander, even if he shared her feelings, she still was to wed the man her parents had chosen for her.

"Tina?" her sister's soft voice reached her ears, even as her gentle hand caressed her messy hair.

"S... Sorry," Tina hiccupped, turning around to look at Queenie who had sat on her bed, "I... I didn't want to wake you..."

"Don't worry about that," her sister chided her gently, "Tell me. Is it about Mister Graves again? Or do you feel unwell?"

"I... I..." Tina stammered, running a frustrated hand through her brown locks, "I feel so... lost. Queenie, I feel like every day brings me closer to a disaster, and I can't do anything to stop it! I can't step back, I can't change anything, I just... have to keep going and deny my heart what it really wants, and I..."

She trailed off as new tears gathered in her eyes and she took a deep breath, her eyelids fluttering shut as if it would help her hold back the salty pearls already gleaming in her lashes. Queenie didn't need to hear more though. She gathered her sister in her arms and rested her chin on her shoulder, and tightened her grip around Tina's waist to hold her as closely as she could.

"This is about Newt Scamander, is it not?" she asked, keeping her words quiet. "I am so, so sorry, Tina. I wish... I wish the situation was different."

Her sister shook her head and smiled bitterly. If only...

"I wish I had never boarded the Titanic," Tina whispered as Queenie rocked her tenderly in her embrace. "I'm glad I met Newt... But when I say goodbye to him, it will hurt ten times more, to know that I will never see him again. Perhaps I should never have met him. It would not hurt so much."

"You will have memories to cherish," her sister offered weakly.

"And I will long for him."

Queenie remained silent. She understood Tina's feelings but only to an extend, for she could not relate to her despair at the thought of getting married. She considered her own wedding a dream come true, a blessed day with her friends and family, gathered together to celebrate her love for Jacob. A smile lit up her face at the evocation of her husband and one of her hands slowly travelled down to her belly.

"Tina?" Queenie called out, unable to hide the joy in her voice. "I think I might be able to cheer you up a little."

Her sister broke free of her embrace to look at her, eyes shining with curiosity - and disbelief, as if she could not imagine a reason to be happy in this moment - and Queenie took her hand in hers.

"In a few months," she began, blinking away the emotion of the revelation, "Jacob and I will bring a treasure into this world. You will become an aunt, Tina! And I... I..."

"Queenie!" Tina shrieked, before she covered her mouth with shaky fingers, "Are you telling me that... Oh my God, are you going to be a mother?!"

Her sister nodded, eyes shining with pride and joy, and Tina started to laugh as she hugged her.

"This is wonderful news! Are you sure? How long have you known?"

"I suspected, when we left New York for London a few weeks ago," Queenie said with a sunny smile, "I didn't tell Jacob though, since I wasn't sure... But now I am! Tina, I am so happy!"

All Tina could do was hug her sister more tightly, sharing her happiness and excitement. Queenie would make such a good mother! When she pictured her with a baby in her arms, Tina could see her clearly, eyes bright and full of love for this tiny being, and she imagined Jacob standing next to his wife, making silly faces to their child. Would it be a boy? A girl? They could not know but perhaps Queenie would sense it in a few months? Was that possible, that a mother-to-be shared such a bond with her baby that she could predict whether it would be a girl or a boy?

Tina knew very little about pregnancies, as such things were not much talked about and their mother had never shared her own experience with her daughters, but she was certain that Queenie would tell her everything she felt during the next few months. Perhaps her sister would help her get ready to her own motherhood that would come soon enough, as well as some other events she did not want to think about right now - namely, her wedding night with Percival.

Tina locked the thought away, in a corner of her mind that she would not probe into. In this moment, she wanted to focus on her sister and her still unborn child, she wanted to bask in the strange and dreamy happiness of _Newt_ for a little while still. The sadness and the despair eating at her could wait for a few more days.

  


  


Percival slowly opened his bleary eyes and blinked a few times, disoriented and unable to make out the outlines of his surroundings in his sleepy haze. However, the gentle rolling of waters underneath him soon reminded him of where he was and he first concerned himself with making sure that Credence was alright.

He could feel the light weight of his lover's arm around his waist as the younger man spooned him, keeping him close to his slightly taller but thinner frame. Percival could not help but smile at the possessiveness he could feel in Credence's unconscious gesture. As slowly and delicately as he could not to wake up his lover, Percival shifted to the edge of the mattress until he could roll out of bed, his feet touching the carpet without a sound. His bare feet padded through the room and to the door of the suite, that he managed to unlock with a soft, dull sound that Credence hopefully didn't hear.

Percival peeked into the hallway, nodding in greeting at a child and her mother who frowned disapprovingly when she noticed his state of undress, as he was only clad in soft cotton trousers, but she suddenly blushed at the sight of his muscular chest. She hurried her son down the passageway, muttering something about how showing off was probably on the list of sins, but Percival didn't pay her much attention. Instead, he waved at a steward who was standing a few feet away from his suite, and the young man immediately came over.

"Good morning, Sir," he greeted him with a bright grin that he'd probably had to practice. "May I help you?"

"Yes," Percival answered, "Could you bring me a tray from the kitchens with breakfast for two and some tea, please?"

"But, Sir," the steward sputtered, "We... This is not... We are not allowed to do that, Sir, I'm sorry. All meals must be taken either in the dining saloon or the _Café Parisien_ , we cannot bring food to the suites. I may bring you back a pot of tea though."

"Please," Percival insisted, waggling his eyebrows in a suggestive way, "I was in charming company last night. Bringing my delicious partner breakfast in bed is the least I can do to show how grateful I am for this marvellous evening and I think I might need strength for some more fun this morning... Surely you do not wish to tarnish my reputation of wonderful lover, do you?"

The young man blushed to the roots of his hair at the lewd things that were implied but he nodded nonetheless and turned around, almost running, in what must have been the direction of the kitchens. Percival smiled to himself, proud of his little act, and he patiently waited for the steward to come back. He wanted to surprise Credence who, as his butler, was often forced to wake up early when they were not alone at the Graves' mansion, both to leave Percival's bedroom without being seen by his parents - or another staff member - and to set the table in the dining room for the Graves' breakfast. This morning though, he did not want his lover to worry about anything.

It took a few minutes but eventually, the steward returned, a little flushed still, carrying a heavy tray with the promised tea, toasts and marmalade, fuming scrambled eggs and little sausages gleaming with fat.

"Would you like me to carry it inside for you, Sir?" the young man asked with badly-disguised excitation, probably hoping to get a glimpse of Percival's lady - ah! As if.

"No, thank you," he answered on a tone that, although not completely threatening, didn't allow protestations. "I will be fine. Have a good day."

Percival took the tray before the steward could react and went back inside his suite, closing the door behind himself and in the face of the young man. Carefully, he made his way to the bedroom, all too aware that even though he was a gentleman from a noble and rich family, who had received a proper education, he lacked the grace and ease with which Credence carried trays, plates or teacups at the mansion. Percival liked to look at him in those moments, enjoying the way Credence would stand, upright but humble still, so serious and dedicated to his tasks, and so different from when they were alone... Then, his lover would relax and smile, laugh, even at him sometimes, and when they lay in bed and slept, Credence would make himself as small as possible to fit between Percival's arms. Sometimes though, like this very morning, his boy would settle behind him, pressing him against his body. Percival was not ashamed to acknowledge the fact that he felt safe like that.

Credence had barely moved while Percival was outside, although he now had his nose buried into his partner's pillow, as if breathing in his scent would remedy Percival's absence. The young man shifted and whined softly as he came to, probably awoken by the mouth-watering smell of the food Percival brought in. He lifted his head, a little lost as he tried to find the reason why he wasn't sleeping anymore, and Percival chuckled when his hair fell before his eyes.

"Don't laugh," Credence grumbled, before he collapsed back into the pillows.

"I'm not laughing at you," the older man swore as he approached with the tray to sit down on the bed. "I think you look cute, that is all."

A muffled groan answered him but Percival knew Credence too well to take offense: right now, the blush on the young man's face, sadly hidden in the pillow, probably looked quite beautiful.

"I brought you breakfast," Percival said as a peace-offering, running his hand through Credence's dark hair, "Would you be interested in that?"

"Breakfast?" the young man repeated, rolling over so that he could actually see his lover, as well as the tray of food, and his eyes widened. "How did you do that? I thought they didn't deliver the meals in the suites..."

"They do not," Percival confirmed with a smirk. "Let's say that I can be persuasive..."

Credence let out a short but bubbly laugh and threw the blanket off himself to sit up comfortably; he bounced on the mattress to come closer to Percival and he nuzzled at the older man's jaw, before he pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of his lips.

"Thank you," he said with a smile and reached out to the teapot, clearly meaning to pour them some tea.

He went still when Percival wrapped his strong hand around his pale wrist in a firm but gentle grip and raised it to his lips, kissing the soft skin in such a slow and teasing way that Credence could feel his whole body shiver and tingle.

"Let me do it," his lover whispered against the protruding bones of his thin wrist. "At least once..."

Credence nodded, although he looked a little hesitant. Usually, he was the one to pour tea into the delicate cups that were part of the Graves' heirloom (a third or maybe fourth great grandmother had taken them with her when she moved into the Graves' mansion after her wedding with old great granddad Graves.) The teacups provided by the steward looked brand new though and the fact that Percival himself was filling the cups with hot tea, biting his lips as he focused and did his best not to go too fast and have the liquid overflow, felt like a novelty in Credence's life.

For a second, the young man could imagine and believe that he was not Percival's butler and that his lover was not going to marry a pretty lady. He could pretend that nothing existed beyond them, that Percival could prepare their tea and their breakfast like this every day because Credence was not his employee but his lover and his world. God, he didn't even have to pretend: shielded in this suite, they could be themselves and throw away conventions and etiquette, Credence could call his lover _Percival_ and drop the _Mister Graves_ , he could hold his hand without fear of being caught by someone. They could sleep in the same bed and wake up next to each other, he didn't have to escape and go back to his own room at dawn... This was perfect. Credence wished that this journey across the seas never reached its end.

The young man had never experienced the feeling of eating breakfast in bed and he relished every second of it: the caress of the sheets on his bare legs, the warmth of the cup in his hands, the crushing sound of the toast in Percival's mouth. Elated, he grabbed a fork and dug into the eggs, offering a bite to his lover before taking one himself, that he swallowed with a long sip of tea.

"This is delicious," he said with a smile as he stole Percival's half-eaten toast to taste the rich flavour of the marmalade on it.

"You thief!" his lover exclaimed with a laugh.

Balancing the tray on his knees, Percival leaned down to nibble on the younger man's mouth, collecting the sweet taste directly off his lips with a swipe of his tongue. He felt Credence smile against his mouth in a pleased and self-satisfied smirk.

"You are enjoying this way too much, are you not?" he whispered as he nosed the young man's neck and throat, his warm breath tickling Credence's skin.

"I don't know what you're talking about," his lover said innocently, still smiling, before he drew back a little and focused on their breakfast again. "Have you tried the sausages? They look... Oops."

Credence frowned in dismay as he failed to properly dig his fork into one of the greasy sausages, that broke in the middle and fell flat in the plate of scrambled eggs. Next thing he knew though, Percival had delicately taken one half of the sausage between his thumb and index finger and raised it to Credence's mouth.

His lips parted as soon as the meat touched them, obeying the silent demand, and he was delighted to notice the surprise written over his lover's face when he swallowed but took Percival's index in his mouth, soothing the burn of the sausage as he sucked the slightly red fingertip.

He heard Percival's breath catch in his throat as his lips slid all the way down to the base of his finger and he stared at his lover while he moved back to the tip in a smooth glide, his dark eyes locked with Percival's own lighter browns.

"Credence..." the older man whispered in awe, feeling his whole body react to the lewd gesture, shivering in delicious ways. "Wait, wait, oh God..."

"Something wrong?" Credence asked in a whisper, between kisses on his palm and his wrist. "Tell me..."

"You..." Percival tried, before he cleared his throat and started over, "You are a menace."

He snatched his hand back and quickly grabbed the handles of the tray to put it down next to the bed, on the carpet, the tea sloshing dangerously in the cups. Credence laughed at his obvious haste, a crystalline and blessed sound that made his heart beat faster in his chest, and he turned back to his lover to crash their mouths together, his hands already roaming the young man's lean body, retracing the path of the sinewy muscles and sharp ribs that he knew by heart and loved.

Credence shivered and moaned when his thighs were nudged apart so that Percival could lick and suck at his hardness, and as much as he wanted to watch his lover copy his previous gestures on his index, the young man had to close his eyes, overwhelmed by the sudden pleasure running in his veins like fire and throughout his whole body.

His fingers tangled in Percival's dark hair to keep him close and he cried out his lover's name when he reached his peak, tensing and shuddering until his lover wrapped his arms around him and held him against his muscular body, kissing his lips lightly. Credence tasted himself on Percival's mouth and the subdued fire inside him reignited.

"I want you..." he whispered against his lover's neck. "Please, please, I need you..."

His shoulders were peppered with kisses while a gentle hand trailed down to his thighs, stroking and teasing until it reached the spot that Credence needed to be touched so badly, and he let out a keen moan when a thick finger finally breached him.

Soon, it was replaced by Percival's cock, rubbing deliciously inside him in all the right places, and Credence lost himself into the searing pleasure and the moans of his lover in his ear, echoed by his own.

  


(The tea was disgustingly cold when they came back to their breakfast.)

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and supporting the story! As always, feel free to leave some feedback, I'd love to read your comments. Also, I'm curious to know if you have any idea regarding the ending of this story (which I have already decided, by the way...) I will not spoil anything but I'd like to know where you think this is going, so feel free to share :) Until next time!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Let me thank you all for the feedback, comments, kudos, bookmarks and subscriptions on this story, I'm really happy to see that you enjoy it so far and I hope that you will like this chapter, as well as what's coming next! ;)

  


The beginning of Tina's day had been gloomy to say the least. Now though, as she and her sister got ready for lunch with their parents and Percival's family - which filled her heart with joy, of course - the young woman tried to put a smile on her face, aware that she would have to pretend that she was perfectly fine while she sat next to the last man she wanted to see.

She managed a tiny, although quite genuine, smile: she did have a few things to feel happy and thankful for, after all. The fact that Queenie, currently combing her sister's hair, was expecting a child was one of them; they had agreed on not telling a soul though, because the mother-to-be did not want her parents to know before her husband did. Then, there was also Newt.

Tina was not sure, at first, that she wanted to see him again: was it wise to get more deeply tangled with this sweet man when she knew that their story would die before it truly started? But then again... The fact that she had a fiancé had not scared Newt away. She truly liked him, too. Plus, Tina had to give him back the blue coat he had draped over her shoulders the previous night. She deemed these arguments good enough to justify another meeting - _tryst_ , she thought, and immediately blushed.

"There!" Queenie exclaimed once she was done with her sister's hair. "Now, shall we go?"

Tina nodded, glancing at her reflection in the mirror in front of her. Her half-happy expression was still in place. She eyed Newt's coat that was folded on top of the blankets of her bed and her shy smile turned into a grin: she could not wait to see him again, she would seek him out right after lunch, on the main deck, where the young man had told her she would find him...

If they were lucky, perhaps they could spend some time together in the afternoon. Would she dare invite Newt to her suite for a cup of tea? With Queenie as well, of course, otherwise people might start talking about the dashing man they had seen her with and who was definitely not her fiancé. No, she would not risk it, she did not want any rumour to reach Percival's ears.

Locking arms with Queenie as they walked out of their suite and locked the door, Tina tried not to dwell too long on her fiancé's possible reaction if he heard that she had been seen at the arm of another man. Even though he did not seem too happy to marry her, Percival had always acted like a perfect gentleman toward her and Tina assumed that he would be at least a little hurt if he heard that she was meeting with another man behind his back. She wondered, shuddering, if he would yell at her. Raise his hand against her, maybe - he did not look like the kind of man who would but what did she truly know about him? Nothing much, really, and she was the one to blame for that: she had always avoided all sort of conversation between them.

Her sister pulled her out of her thoughts when they reached the dining room doors, that two young stewards opened for them, bowing their heads; she followed Queenie to their table, where their parents and Percival's were already sitting around a bottle of fine wine. However, her fiancé was nowhere in sight.

"Good morning everyone!" Queenie greeted them with a bright smile.

Tina tried to look as bubbly as her sister but she knew she had failed as soon as her mother turned concerned eyes toward her. They had not really spoken together again after their disastrous first night onboard and she could not help but feel relieved, for she was not ready to have another fight with her mother. She loved her dearly but sometimes, she was too much to handle.

"Where is Percival?" Tina hastily asked as she sat down, before her mother could make any comment on her depressing mood. "I thought he would join us for lunch?"

Her question made a light spark in Lady Graves' eyes, who seemed to have mistaken Tina's haste for disappointment - apparently, she was oblivious to the fact that her future daughter-in-law had no interest in marrying her son.

"Oh dear!" she said with an apologetic smile, "Did he not tell you? I thought he would at least explain to you why he would not come for lunch today... My poor son did not sleep too well last night, he's exhausted and told us that he would rest for a while. But do not worry, my dear, Percy will join us for dinner, I'm sure!"

Tina did her best impression of a relieved smile while in fact, she had to hold back a snigger upon hearing the nickname Lady Graves had used to talk about her son. She briefly wondered what Percival would have to say if he knew that his mother called him like that in public - and the little hearts in her eyes at the mention of her son were the cherry on top.

Queenie, who had noticed that her sister was barely holding in her laughter, was quick to redirect the conversation to other matters, namely the silky fabric of Lady Graves' dress and its deep blue colour that matched the small sapphires hanging from her ears. Tina did not pay much attention, only nodding or humming from time to time when she heard her name.

Actually and bizarrely, she thought about Percival. For a reason she could not quite pinpoint, she found it hard to believe that this man, usually so composed and determined not to show weakness, felt too tired to join them. Was he sick, rather? Tina had not seen him since dinner the previous day and even back then, she had been quite distracted - the prospect of going to a dance with Newt Scamander would do that. Or perhaps he had not wished to importune her? No, she reasoned, that would be rather egocentric of her to think that he would act accordingly to her whims.

Whatever the reason of his absence may be, Tina found out that she did not mind it much. In fact, she was relieved to be able to eat lunch without worrying that her fiancé would try to talk to her. She probably should feel guilty for her sudden happiness over Percival's misery but... She could not.

  


  


Far from the dining room and unaware of the questions his absence raised, Percival was actually perfectly happy. After his marvellous morning in Credence's company, how and why would he feel differently? So far, they had both spent an amazing day and Percival wanted to keep spoiling his lover for a little while longer - it might very well be his last opportunity to do that, so really, he should do everything he could to make these few days as enjoyable as possible for Credence.

"Where are you taking me?" the younger man asked with a curious smile and sparkling eyes, thrilled, as Percival led him through the ship to an unknown destination.

The other only smiled, tightening his grip on Credence's hand. They were alone in this part of the Titanic, which was the reason why Percival had allowed himself to hold his lover's hand, as he believed that they should not meet anyone on their path: this area was restricted to the First class passengers only and most of those were currently on their way to the dinning room, far from them.

Eventually and in spite of Percival's stubborn silence, Credence understood where they were heading for: his lover opened a door on which a coppery sign read...

" _Swimming pool?_ " the boy read aloud in a surprised gasp, "On a ship?"

"Yes!" Percival exclaimed proudly as he walked inside the room and stepped aside, enabling the younger male to see, a few meters farther away, the swimming pool itself and its deep, clear waters.

No one but them had thought of going down there on the lunch hour and Credence's heart beat a little faster as he realised that they would not be bothered for quite some time. They were completely alone. He grinned as he already imagined himself splashing water at his lover in a childish game; he wanted to see the droplets roll down Percival's wet body in tiny, quick rivulets.

"You do remember that I can't actually swim?" Credence asked, shaking off his fantasy. "I mean, not in deep waters."

"Don't worry," Percival answered with a kiss to his temple. "I won't let you drown. We will stay in the safe area of the pool and if you feel up to it, I could teach you how to handle the deep end."

The young man nodded and glanced around; on their left stood individual and small cabins where they could change and on their right, he found clean towels that were almost as long as he was tall. He didn't own a bathing suit though, and Percival clearly had not brought one with him either.

"How are we supposed to get in," Credence asked with a wave at the water, "if we don't have proper swimwear?"

Percival flashed him a bright smile, one that screamed trouble. Sometimes, the young man wondered if his lover remembered that he was actually thirty-five years old and not a child anymore. And yet, he would not have it any other way: witnessing Percival's happiness and the gleam in his eyes filled his own heart with warmth.

"Ever heard of skinny-dipping?" the man asked with a wink.

Credence blushed. Swimming naked? Good God, if anyone came in and caught them like that, they would certainly have a problem. Granted, most people were having lunch right now and First class meals tended to last a while, but still...

"I'm not sure that it is a good idea," he admitted, even though the thought was appealing. "What if someone sees us?"

"You have a gorgeous body, nothing to hide," Percival chirped, already unbuttoning his dress shirt.

"That... That is not what I meant!" Credence stammered, feeling his cheeks burn as he blushed a deeper shade of red.

Percival was quick to kiss him on the lips, shushing him in the best possible way.

"I know," he whispered, cupping his lover's face in his hands. "I think we are safe though, at least for a little while. Don't worry, love. Look, we will keep a few towels by the edge of the pool and if anyone comes in, we will play it down and cover ourselves while they change. We could even leave, if you wanted to. All right?"

"I... I guess," Credence answered, a little hesitant still, but he raised his fingers to the button of his collar nonetheless.

After all, he thought, they had better enjoy their minutes of freedom while they could. He hated that, to feel like there was a clock ticking urgently every time they decided to do something together, and he was growing tired of thinking that everything they did, perhaps they did for the last time. Last kiss. Last touch. Last happy smile. Credence longed for past, more carefree times. Back at the Graves' mansion, life had been easier for them: yes, they'd had to be careful and Credence had to sneak in and out of Percival's bedroom but then at least, his lover was not getting married.

The young man shook his head, as now was not the time to be distracted by grim thoughts. _Carpe diem_ , Percival often said, quoting a Roman poet whose name Credence had forgotten, as well as the literal meaning of the words; he knew, however, that it meant one should enjoy the present time and not focus on what the next day would bring.

"Are you coming?" Percival asked at that moment.

He was fully naked. He smirked when he noticed Credence's appreciative gaze on his body, staring as if it was the first time he saw it, muscular and strong, knowing fully well that Percival could lift him up effortlessly in spite of their light height difference - which Credence loved. The young man quickly undressed himself, folding his clothes carefully out of habit and laying them on top of a towel, close to the edge of the swimming pool.

The water, blue and calm so far, rippled when Percival got in first, walking down a few narrow steps that led straight into the pool; on this end, he had water up to the level of his waist and Credence deemed it safe to follow. He first dipped his toes to check the temperature of the water, not too eager to freeze if he went in too fast, but then his eyes widened in surprise.

"It's warm!" he exclaimed, now smiling as he entered the swimming pool with more confidence.

"Yes," Percival said, "Isn't this amazing? I believe this is only the second heated swimming pool ever installed on a ship. And it's all ours."

As he spoke, he got closer to Credence, until he could wrap his arms around his lover's waist and press their bodies together in a gentle swash. He kissed him slowly, trailing his fingertips up and down the boy's back, goose bumps rising in their wake and droplets of water following his every move. Credence couldn't hold back a tiny moan and Percival chuckled but didn't stop there: teasing his lover's neck, his kisses trailed lower, lips brushing over a collarbone and already hardened nipples.

Credence bit his lips, hesitant to make too much noise in spite of being alone in the swimming pool, and he panted on what he hoped was a teasing tone but actually made him sound completely enraptured:

"S... Such indecent b... behaviour, M... Mister Graves..."

"Tell me you don't like it," Percival dared him in a hoarse whisper against the boy's chest, "and I will leave you alone to swim a few laps on my own."

"Don't!" Credence immediately begged, even though he knew his lover was merely making fun of him.

Percival kissed him again, this time more thoroughly as their lips crashed together, and to the younger man's surprise and delight, he grabbed him under his thighs to hoist him up, and Credence was quick to wrap his legs around his lover's waist. The boy smiled in their kiss, feeling the hard outline of Percival's cock against his own.

"So indecent," he repeated in a whisper, barely audible as it was muffled by his lover's mouth.

"Looks like I'm not the only one, though," Percival said with a smirk as he gently rocked Credence back and forth, eliciting a gasp. "Now, Mister Barebone, what do you say we christen this swimming pool in a very, very indecent way?"

  


  


A few hours later, the two men had left the swimming pool and were strolling aimlessly along the main desk, hair still wet and sporting identical grins that were hard to conceal. Percival had to make a real effort to refrain from holding Credence's hand right there and then, craving for more physical touches, even after their sweet time in the pool.

They had never made love in the water before and they probably wouldn't have another occasion to try it again but they were both satisfied with the experience. And exhausted, too. Percival could feel every single one of his sore muscles and he knew, judging by the careful and slow pace of Credence's walk, that his lover did as well. His strength must have been worn out by now, as they had not only spent a long time making love but then, Percival had also kept his promise: after a little break so that they could breathe properly again and once their legs had not felt like jelly anymore, he had led his lover to the deep end of the pool in order to teach him a few tricks about swimming, so that he would be able to do more than dogpaddling.

Credence was eager to learn, although a little too uncoordinated in his movements, but Percival never failed to catch and steady him if he accidentally went under, and he held him close as his lover coughed and coughed.

Glancing at the young man from the corner of his eye, Percival couldn't help a small smile: his short hair, as it dried with the salty air of the sea, was turning wavy, a real mess, and he wanted to run his hand through the dark strands. He fought the urge though, aware that there were people around them, and he suddenly noticed Credence stiffening, expression guarded as he stood up straight, his back stiff and his hands clasped in front of him.

Percival realised what was the reason to this unexpected change when he followed his lover's line of sight and noticed his fiancée, who was walking next to a man he didn't know, a tall and lanky redhead with a folded blue coat on his arm. Both pairs came to an halt when they spotted each other and Percival caught Tina blanching, before she sputtered:

"P... Percival! What a surprise! I... I take it you feel better?"

"I do, thank you," he said, forcing a pleasant smile. "Credence suggested that I got out of the suite for a little while, to take a breath. He was right, I do feel better now that I am outside. Won't you introduce us?"

He glanced at the redheaded man next to her, who seemed a little awkward as he did not quite meet his gaze but bowed his head, and Tina blushed.

"I'm sorry," she said before she added, "Newt, this is Percival Graves, my fiancé. Percival, meet Newt Scamander. Oh, and this is Credence, Percival's butler."

Percival curled his fingers in a fist, resisting the desire to place a comforting hand on Credence's shoulder as the young man startled, surprised to be mentioned. He looked uncomfortable and Percival could not pretend that he didn't know why: his lover never enjoyed the times, although thankfully rare, when he had to witness Tina and he together, playing the perfect fiancés. He himself didn't like to have Credence by his side in these moments, aware that the boy hurt beyond words even if he knew that they weren't actually in love.

"You did not mention that you had a friend onboard," Percival said with a questioning lilt to his tone, polite as always as he tried to make small talk.

"We... We only recently met," Newt offered softly, "Uh, Miss Goldstein got lost and I happened to help her find her way back."

Percival didn't miss the grateful look Tina tried to discreetly cast at him and his eyes narrowed in suspicion. That redhead had an innocent look about him but right then, Percival knew that he had lied for Tina. But why? What was so shameful in the circumstances of their first meeting that it had to be kept from him? Oh, well... They could keep their little secrets. Percival had his own.

"Credence, dear," Tina suddenly said, making the young man flinch again, "May I speak with you, please?"

He looked terrified upon hearing her words and Percival understood that he thought Tina knew about them - but how could she? They were always so careful, she had barely seen them together... It couldn't be it but he had to admit that he was curious to know why on earth his fiancée might want to talk to the boy she only considered as his butler. Credence nodded nonetheless and Tina took his arm to lead him a little further away and out of earshot, leaving Percival alone with the other man - which turned out to be awfully awkward, as Newt obviously had very little skill at light conversation. He only seemed to gain confidence when Percival asked him about his job and even though their discussion grew less stilled and cold, he was hoping that Tina would swiftly return with Credence.

Meanwhile, the young woman, shaking from her surprise encounter with her fiancé and his butler while she was in Newt's company, only had one thought in her mind: she couldn't draw too much attention to her relationship (still only friendly, so far) with the redhead man so the best way to look innocent was to make some time with Percival and prove him that she _was_ interested after all.

"Credence," she said with much more calm than she felt inside, "I need your opinion on a little something. Do you think that Percival, if I asked him, would agree to spend the afternoon with me tomorrow? Would he enjoy that?"

"I... I suppose, yes," the butler answered with hesitation. "Mister Graves has expressed his wish to know you better several times, so I am sure he will be thrilled."

"Great," Tina said, somewhat bitterly, "Perfect."

"I apologise, Miss, do you..." Credence trailed off, before he took a deep breath, "I am aware that it is not my place to say that, but... You don't seem fond of the idea of spending time with Mister Graves."

Tina let out a sigh that was revealing enough but she decided to answer the young man nonetheless, and to tell him the truth. After all, Credence was almost as young as her, surely he would understand her point of view.

"You are right," she whispered. "I request your most absolute discretion on this, but... I do not want anything to do with him. I do not love Percival and I am fairly certain that I never will."

"Why not?" Credence asked with wide eyes, as if the thought was unfathomable.

"Why not?" she repeated, stunned. "Why would I?"

The young man didn't immediately answer but he looked like he was gathering his thoughts as well as his courage to express them in words.

"I think," he eventually said, "that you do not know Mister Graves well enough. Do you know what I see when I look at him?"

Silent, Tina shook her head and waited for the butler to voice his thoughts, which he did, his eyes drifting to Percival himself and staring as if he could not get enough of the sight.

"I see a kind man," Credence whispered, almost speaking to himself, "A kind and generous man like I have seldom seen, a man who is cultured and intelligent but who will never make you feel inferior for not knowing what he does. He is brave, too, and determined, and I..."

The young man trailed off but Tina did not push him. She was impressed with the loyalty that tied him up to his master and she could tell that his affection for him was genuine; he must know Percival very well... Perhaps she could trust his judgement of the man and not be so afraid anymore.

"Thank you, Credence," she told him, resting her hand lightly on his forearm. "Maybe I will start to see him in the same light as you do after some time. Come, now."

She led the young man back to Percival and Newt, her heart clenching painfully at the sight of the two men, one she desired more than anything and the other, whom she would end up marrying, whether she wanted to or not. When Credence and her finally came to their level, they were talking about Newt's job and the many animals he had seen; the young butler seemed as excited to hear that as Tina had been to see the redhead's drawings.

"You work with animals!" he exclaimed with enthusiasm, "What kind? I have always loved animals, it is a pity some are only visible at the London zoo... But you must have seen plenty of species in the wild! Is it dangerous work?"

Newt laughed as the young man blurted out an endless list of questions but he gladly started to answer him and even though he was looking at Credence, he didn't miss the spark that appeared in Mister Graves' eyes as he stared, nearly dazzled, at the boy's sunny smile.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There truly was a heated swimming pool installed on the Titanic, I didn't make it up :) Also, the quote _Carpe diem_ is from one of Horace's poems (and Horace used to say that he was the greatest poet Rome had ever known, he's so modest. I love him.)
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm back with the fifth chapter of this story, I apologise for the delay but I wanted to finish my other Gradence story before updating this one. On the bright side, the updates will now be more frequent! For this chapter, heed this little warning: the tag _Period-typical homophobia_ specifically applies to this part; while the story doesn't focus on homophobia, it was still inevitable that the subject got discussed at some point, however briefly. That being said, I hope you will enjoy this chapter!

  


The morning of the thirteenth of April on the Titanic was uneventful - and downright boring, if you asked Percival. Far from the peaceful breakfast he had had in pleasant company the previous day, this time he had no other choice than going out of his suite for a late breakfast, lunch really, along with his family and his fiancée's.

He hated this. Leaving Credence behind to have his meals with people he didn't specially want to eat with, pretending that he was perfectly fine with the silent treatment he got nearly every day from Tina... He was growing tired of it all, the same tension between them and all the same conversations every morning: his father who wanted to talk business with every entrepreneur he caught sight of on the deck, inviting them over to their table, and the women who, nearly out of obligation it seemed, had to discuss jewellery and dresses. Tina didn't particularly like this either, based on her sour expression - the same she mostly reserved to Percival.

He knew that the young woman was smart and didn't find her satisfaction in discussions over fashion; a pity, some of the men onboard would say, to have a smart wife who could call him out on his stupidity and speak her mind if needed. Those blokes would rather have a pretty but silent wife. Percival, however, had thought that once they were married, they would have long conversations on important matters; he would have liked that, actually. Even though he could not love her like a husband was supposed to love his wife, he had hoped that the both of them could at least make a friend out of this situation. Now that he had spent a few days in Tina's company though, he doubted that it would ever happen, not while she gave him the cold shoulder anyway.

Percival had tried, though. He had tried to nudge the conversations in ways that would ask for Tina's input, he had even tried to leave her alone and not bother her, but merely glancing in her direction seemed to annoy her. He had done everything he could to make it easier for the both of them but nothing had worked, so he guessed they would have to figure it out after their wedding... To be honest, he would rather spend his wedding night talking to Tina than doing... other things. His husband's duty.

He briefly closed his eyes, holding back a sigh and a shudder. He couldn't do that. Even if Credence had not been in his heart like he was, Percival would have been unable to... honour his wife, so to speak. He just didn't feel any attraction to women and especially not sexual desire. What an awkward wedding night they had ahead of them...

Percival slowly put his fork down, glaring at his plate of smoked salmon and toasts. Great, now his appetite had run away. He remained still one second too long apparently, for his mother seemed to notice his unease.

"Do you feel all right, dear boy?" she asked in concern, whispering so that she wouldn't disturb the conversations of those around them - God forbid the Graves should be anything but perfectly polite and good-mannered around a table.

"I..." he started, at a loss for words.

Surely he could not share his worries with his mother. Percival barely held back a snort at the thought of what her reaction would be and his face clenched in a funny way that drew his mother's eyebrows together, her concern growing.

"You seem tired still," she said, "Did you not sleep better than last night? How strange, you never had troubles like that before..."

"Maybe it's the sea," he answered, secretly glad that his mother had found an excuse for him, "I think I should go back to my suite and lay down for a little while, perhaps it will help."

"Yes, you do that," she decided with a comforting pat on his hand. "Ask Credence to get you some tea as well. You shall be on your feet in no time."

Ah, the holy tea. According to his mother, there was nothing a good cup of tea could not fix. He wished it was so, he wished he could gather his family around a teapot and tell them that he was cancelling his wedding with Tina so that he could elope with Credence.

Percival shook his head, as daydreaming would get him nowhere, and stood up. The accidental scrape of his chair on the floor made the Goldstein's turn curious eyes towards him and he smiled reassuringly.

"If you will excuse me," he told them, "I'm afraid I don't feel well enough yet to be of good company in this charming assembly. I shall rest a little and I will hopefully join you tonight for dinner."

"Don't forget the concert!" Tina's mother reminded him with a smile, "The orchestra will be performing special pieces at five, with the afternoon tea. I heard the chef has prepared different cakes for the occasion."

"I will be there, of course," Percival promised with a slight bow of his head in the direction of his future mother-in-law.

She nodded her satisfaction then turned to her youngest daughter, who had pressed one hand against her chest and was feigning hurt.

"Mother!" she cried, "How can you be so excited about these cakes when you know that Jacob bakes the best ones!"

Percival turned away when his mother laughed, delighted, and told Queenie how marvellous she was for being so supportive of her husband and so clearly in love with him. Percival scurried away, not too eager to see Tina's face; if she was as unwilling to marry him as he was her, then he could imagine his mother's statement would not please her... It was a cruel, probably unintentional though, reminder that Tina could not live as she wanted, love whomever she wanted to, unlike her sister.

And Percival himself... Well. He had known since he was fifteen - and crushing on the stable boy at the Graves mansion - that he would never be allowed to love someone publicly. He was used to it. It didn't mean that the thought didn't hurt anymore, nor that comments like his mother's were easy to bear.

Hiding Credence and the ties between them both was worse than anything, though. If he only could... He would scream his love for him, shout his secret to the whole world. But the consequences of such a revelation would be far too dangerous for them, as loving another man was not allowed. Percival had made peace with himself years ago, for he couldn't do anything to change whom he loved, who he was inside, but that didn't mean that his family, his business partners or the society would approve of his life choices.

It didn't matter. _They_ didn't matter. He still hoped though, still prayed that people like Credence and he would be accepted one day, not pointed at with accusing fingers and dark glares. After all, what had they done wrong? They weren't bothering anyone, didn't try to seduce any other man, didn't show their affection in public... They only wanted to be left alone and free to love each other. Was that too much to ask for?

Percival strode through the Titanic hallways, feeling miserable but hiding it behind a mask of cold indifference as he passed other passengers by, all his attention focused on getting back to Credence to hug him tightly and ignore the outside world for a little while.

In his haste to wrap his arms around the young man, Percival forgot to lock the door of the suite behind him.

  


  


"Did he look tired to you?" Tina asked her sister some time after brunch, while they sat in the _Café Parisien_ with a cup of tea.

There were only the two of them at their table, a welcome respite after the meal with the whole family - and before the next one - and they had been discussing several matters without ever broaching sorer topics. Until now.

"Who? Percival?" Queenie asked, visibly surprised that Tina even wanted to talk about her fiancé. "I... Well, not really? I would say he looked distressed, rather than tired. Why?"

"I don't know," Tina answered with a shrug that would have horrified their mother, "It's just... I think there's something wrong with him. Admitting that he's tired, cutting on family meals... It's not like him."

"Oh, because you know him so well," Queenie laughed, patting her sister's hand.

Tina smiled. Coming from anyone else, this comment would have sounded mean or snappy but from her sister, it was a mere reminder that she did not know any of Percival's secrets and probably shouldn't worry. How to judge a man she barely knew?

There was someone who knew him well, though, someone who would be able to tell her what was wrong with her fiancé... She didn't want to care but how could she not? What if it was her own behaviour toward him that had finally proven too much for him to bear? She might not want to make him her husband, but she also did not want to make him her enemy.

"I think I should speak with Credence," Tina told her sister, "He might know if something is wrong with his master, or perhaps he will say that he is all right. Either way, I will know for sure. Oh, and I said yesterday that I would spend the afternoon with Percival... We could show up together at the concert?"

"I'm sure mother will be delighted," Queenie said with a nod. "What about Newt? Won't you see him today?"

Tina heaved a deep sigh at the mention of the redhead's name. If she only could... She wanted nothing more than spending the afternoon with him instead of her fiancé. She wanted to laugh with him, walk next to him and follow his bouncy steps, watch the sunbeams play in the fire of his hair... And perhaps, if she had not been asked to attend the Titanic band's concert this evening, they would have watched the sun disappear below the horizon together, perhaps Newt would have angled his face towards her, his kind eyes shining with impatience as he leaned in and...

"Teenie?"

Queenie's voice brought her sister back to reality and Tina coughed to hide her embarrassment at being caught dreaming awake like this. Queenie was smiling though, understanding, and Tina felt herself relax slightly. Still, she should be careful: she had better not behave like this in front of her mother - or worse, in front of Percival.

"Uh," she cleared her throat, "No. I... Newt and I were strolling on the deck yesterday and we came across Percival and Credence."

In front of her, Queenie sucked in a breath and she clamped her hand over her mouth, her eyes widening in worry.

"Did he... see anything?" she whispered. "You weren't... holding hands or... kissing, were you?"

"No!" Tina exclaimed, then blushed as heads turned toward her in disapprobation, and she quickly looked down to say, quietly, "Nothing of the like, we were only talking. But I don't want Percival to get suspicious."

"Which is why you suggested to spend time with him," Queenie understood. "Tina, promise me to be careful. I think that Percival is a good man but if he sees you with Newt too often..."

"I know," her sister whispered. "I will be careful."

They did not mention Percival again after that but by the time Tina left the _Café Parisien_ and hesitantly made her way to her fiancé's suite, her stomach was tied in knots. What if nothing went as she had planned? What if they could not find anything to talk about and just spent hours in heavy silence? Was it a bad idea to even try?

Her little knocks on the door when she stopped in front of Percival's suite were timid at best and even though she expected Credence to open the door for her, no one came. Maybe they had gone out?

Just to make sure, Tina turned the doorknob and was surprised when the latch gave way and the door opened wide under her gentle push. Stepping in, she found herself standing in a cosy parlour with cushioned chairs placed around a wooden, claw foot table with intricate designs carved around and up the legs. She could not pay much more attention to the elegant decor though, for she heard a noise - a laugh? - coming from the room next to the one she had entered.

She would later realise that she was being far from polite but she did not think at the time, just headed for the closed door that kept her away from Percival, and pushed it open. The sight that welcomed her into the bedroom, however, made her stop dead in her tracks.

She first saw Credence, sitting on an oaken chest of drawers with his head thrown backwards, his eyes closed and bliss on his face, his legs spread to accommodate Percival between them, pressing in close to kiss the younger man's lips, his jaw, his throat. They looked feverish, hurried, as if they wanted to take their time but could not, and while they were both clothed, Credence's febrile hands were already tugging at the collar of Percival's shirt, grunting in frustration against the man's mouth as the fabric resisted him.

Tina must have gasped without knowing for suddenly, Credence's eyes snapped open and he yelped, pushing Percival off him. The latter made a sound of surprise, tainted with hurt and incomprehension at being so roughly rejected, until he caught sight of the sheer terror reflected on the boy's face. Percival froze when he realised what that look meant and he slowly turned around, palling when he saw his fiancée standing in the doorframe.

"T... Tina," he stammered.

She had never seen him like this. He looked almost as terrified as Credence did, his brown eyes filled with apprehension but also challenge, as he stepped in front of the younger man to shield him from her gaze, as if he was willing to take the blame for this behaviour all alone.

"I..." she started, not knowing what to say, "I was just..."

She did not finish her sentence: instead, she wheeled around and ran away, unable to erase the scene from her memory.

"Tina!" Percival called after her.

She stormed out of the suite, her fiancé close behind, and she tried to lose him through the Daedalian hallways but always, she heard his footsteps. She did not even know for sure why she was running away from him. What she had seen... It was wrong, so wrong, and she...

"Tina, wait!"

Tina squeaked when Percival finally caught up to her and grabbed her wrist, forcing her to stop and turn around to face him. She barely dared to meet his eyes but then, her gaze fell on the open collar of his shirt and she was suddenly reminded of the way Credence had clung to him, and she turned a deep red.

"Wait," Percival repeated again in a whisper, panting softly.

"What for?" she snapped, with much more harshness than she intended - or did she? "So that you can deny that what I saw ever happened, so you can say that you weren't defiling..."

She yelped when Percival slammed a fist against the nearest wall, which happened to be right behind her, and he growled:

"Never... I would never deny my love for Credence, I..."

"Your... love?" she interrupted her fiancé in a whisper, even though there was no one around to hear them. "You... you _love_ him?"

Percival seemed to slump then, defeated, weary, and he nodded without a word, the fury is his eyes now extinguished. Tina remained still though, completely lost. He was in love with... But... She thought that these... These people her mother called inverts were only in this for the perverted ways of fornication, not for... love and other feelings. Good Lord, but if Percival was in love with Credence, then it meant...

Tina blinked and lifted her head, staring at Percival in a new light. He was already in love with someone and had to marry her instead. Their situation was actually worse than hers; she had not wanted to marry Percival because she did not want to lose her freedom and be tied to a man she did not know, and she had only met Newt three days ago, but Percival and Credence... If they loved each other, she could only imagine how painful it must be to count down the hours they could still spend together.

God, she had been so horrible to Percival when, really, he had endless reasons to hate her but had only been kind and understanding! And Credence... She had certainly hurt him, the previous day, when she had babbled on and on about how she didn't want Percival, didn't want to marry him and didn't see what there was to love in this man... While Credence would probably give anything for a chance at marrying his lover.

Tina's epiphany was cut short when Percival placed his strong hands on her shoulders and locked eyes with her, staring at her with intensity.

"I'm in love with Credence," he whispered, "and just because I can't hold his hand in public or take him to the restaurant and buy him flowers doesn't mean that our feelings for each other are not sincere."

Tina nodded, but mostly so that he would quit staring at her like that. She felt like the love he was talking about showed in his eyes, and this lovely gaze was not meant for her. She knew that, now.

"I am aware that I am in no way allowed to ask this," he added as he took a step back and let go of her, "but please... Please, don't tell your parents. Or mine."

"I..." Tina stammered, surprised by his request, "Why would I?"

"Why would you not?" he retorted, his voice calm but his hands shaking by his side. "This is not what you expected from this marriage, was it? But please, I'm begging you, if I have ever been kind to you... Do me this favour. Don't talk about this to our families. I... I'm not a coward and if only my life was at stake here, I would not speak like this. But..."

Percival took a deep breath, steadying himself, before he added very quietly, as if merely fathoming the thought was painful for him:

"If you tell this to anyone, I'm not the one who will be the most in trouble."

"Credence?" Tina guessed, although she did not understand why he would be more affected.

Her fiancé probably noticed her confusion, because he explained slowly, each word cruel on his tongue:

"We stand at different ends of the social scale. I never cared about that, Credence was my friend before he was my... partner. But people will think that he seduced me, that he did this to get closer to my family's wealth, and that I was a victim of his manipulation. None of this would be true."

The both of them remained silent and still for a little while, glancing at each other. Tina briefly wondered what was their story, how they had become friends then... partners, to use the term Percival had chosen. She also realised the power she held upon her fiancé, now. One word would be enough to ruin his life and Credence's, and consequently cancel their wedding. She merely had to give them away to reclaim her freedom - but the thought immediately made her sick. She was not that kind of person, she would not wish for someone's fall just to get her normal life back.

"I won't tell them," she said, and did not fail to notice the relief that made Percival's whole body sag. "I think you should go back to your... To Credence. I think... I think that I need some time alone."

Percival nodded, biting his lips so hard that he nearly drew blood, and then he heaved a sigh.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "for what you saw. I hope this has not... shaken you too much. And I can't know for sure what you think about all this, our wedding and... Credence and I. But I can assure you that nothing I have done was ever meant to hurt you. I just wanted you to know this."

He turned around and walked away without saying anything else and Tina watched him go, pensive. Percival looked tired; it was visible even from the back, in the sag of his shoulders and his heavy steps. Maybe, she thought, he had always looked like this, burdened by the weight of his secrets, but had managed to hide it and pretend that he was... normal. Not a... a... A homosexual.

She felt her cheeks heat up at the mere thought of the word. If her mother knew... Percival would not seem like a proper suitor anymore. God, she would not even consider him a proper _man_ anymore. And Tina... Tina had been raised with the same moral principles as her parents of course, had been moulded to think of people like Credence and Percival as sinners, sheer models of wrong behaviour.

However... She was not sure she wanted to think that way. It was easy to, when she did not know anyone like that: it all remained theoretical. Now, though... She knew Percival and Credence, maybe not too well, but still enough to see them as human beings rather than sinners. She knew their kindness, even though she had often misunderstood her fiancé.

Tina was lost. She did not know what to do anymore: her own affection for Newt apart, how could she marry someone whose heart was already taken? This wedding would not make two but four unhappy people. But what could they do? Percival did not have the luxury of telling their families that he had already found love, because their parents would demand explanations that he could not give them, for his own safety and that of Credence. And Tina did not think that revealing Newt's existence was a good idea either... Her parents would never allow a third class passenger to court their daughter.

 _Newt_ , she suddenly thought and perked up. She had to find him. For if she pushed all her hardships aside, she had actually found one good thing out of this messy situation: surely Percival would not mind if she kissed the gorgeous redhead, would he?

A bubbly laugh escaped her throat when she started to run through the hallways and hurried down the stairs to the third class quarters.

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Feel free to leave a comment, it would make my day (or late evening, I guess!) Until next time!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Here I come with a new chapter at last! It took me some time, as I'm quite busy with my thesis and everything else, and I apologise for that. I hope you will like this chapter! :)

  


Tina would always wonder how she managed to reach the third class dining room without falling or stumbling even a little. She ran through an endless maze of hallways and stairs to get down there and she almost lost her way, until she met a helpful steward who told her how to reach her destination.

Her heart was beating so fast as she pushed open the door of the dining room that she imagined that everyone could hear it. No one did, of course, but several heads turned to watch her as she walked across the room. Tina tried not to blush under the attention but realised that she was certainly the last person they expected to see in the third class dining room... Even though she had came to a party in their quarters two days prior, she did not belong there and these passengers were painfully aware of it; they were staring at her emerald dress with expressions of delight at the beautiful colour and also envy, shining in the little girls' eyes - who were dressed in brown and dark greenish shabby clothes.

Tina's fast-paced steps faltered as she looked around, trying to spot red hair or blue fabric somewhere in this crowd of grey and brown, and finally she caught sight of Newt. He was sitting at the farthest side of the room, speaking quietly with another man in front of empty plates.

The young woman felt her chest fill with happiness at the thought that this man could be hers, if she wished. Percival would not blame her for following her heart and now that she knew and shared his secret, thinking that he could ever be mad at her for seeking another man's company was ridiculous. Nearly shaking with impatience, Tina started to close the distance between herself and Newt's table.

The redhead had not seen her yet, as he was deeply involved in his conversation with the other man, but the few other people sitting at their table began to whisper when they realised that she clearly meant to talk to one of them. A few excited nudges and enthusiastic comments later, Newt finally seemed to grasp that something was going on around him and he finally, finally! looked up.

His confused expression turned into delight when he saw her and then worry, and he stood up to meet her halfway, under the whistles and cheers of his fellow passengers.

"Tina!" he exclaimed, unable to hide the joy her presence brought him, in spite of the concerned gleam in his eyes, "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you," she said quickly, resting a light hand on his forearm and ignoring the curious glances cast at them to the best of her ability, "Do you think we could go somewhere... quieter?"

"O... Of course! Please, follow me!"

Newt led her outside of the dining room and through white corridors that all looked the same to her but that the red-haired man seemed to navigate comfortably enough. Eventually, he stopped in front of a door and turned towards her.

"It is not much," he warned her, looking down in apology, "but it is quiet and no one will bother us."

Tina nodded, trying hard not to think of what they could be doing that she would not want to be interrupted halfway through, and failed spectacularly to keep herself from blushing as she remembered Percival and Credence's earlier activities.

Newt did not notice her trouble though, as he opened the door at that same instant and waited for Tina to enter before he followed suit and closed the panel behind them. The young woman took a few seconds to look around, observing the berth, Newt's case, his blue coat folded on top of his blanket and the drawings and notebooks scattered all over the place. There was nothing here that could compare to the luxury of her own suite but at least it felt homey, it felt _Newt_. She loved it.

When she turned around, Tina caught him staring at her in wonder. She flashed him a smile that he returned and then, feeling very silly, she took slow steps in his direction, looking at him from under her lashes. He stood frozen on his spot as he watched her come closer, until she lightly placed her hands on his chest, staring up into his eyes with her mouth parted in a clear invitation... That Newt accepted, for he was too weak to resist Tina's shining eyes, and he leaned in at the same time as she rose on her tippy toes.

Their mouths crashed on each other's awkwardly, in a messy kiss that made Tina laugh and Newt step back, bewildered, before he cupped his friend's rosy cheeks and held her still so that he could press their lips together again, this time carefully and gently.

Tina felt like her heart stopped as Newt kissed her, his mouth both tender and hungry on hers, then it started to beat again, faster and faster, and the young woman wrapped her arms around the redhead's shoulders. He had closed his eyes but she found herself unable to, lost in these sensations that she had never experienced before. Newt was her first kiss. Eyes wide open, she stared at him shamelessly, engraving into her memory his many freckles and every single one of his lashes, casting shadows on his pale skin. She couldn't breathe anymore but she did not want to stop this either, she felt as if breaking apart would take them away from each other forever.

Newt eventually stepped back, although he took one of her hands in his own, unwilling to completely let go; he looked at her with both wonder and amazement in his eyes, a faint blush spreading across the bridge of his nose.

"I, uh..." he started, voice rough, and cleared his throat to start over, "Not that I did not enjoy this but... I thought... Your fiancé...?"

"Oh, Percival shall not mind!" she exclaimed with a smile, "I found out that he and Cr..."

Tina suddenly stopped talking. She could not do that, she could not tell him who Percival was seeing: she might have accepted, sort of, his relationship with his butler - mostly because it made everything so much easier for her, she had to admit it - but this did not mean that other people would be as open-minded as she was. She did not know what Newt's thoughts on the matter would be, so perhaps she should not explain the situation in too many details.

"I caught Percival with someone," she finally said, flushing a deep red as she remembered the way her fiancé had kissed Credence, hungering for the smooth and pale skin of his neck. "They are very much in love... I think."

"Are they, now?" Newt asked with an amused lilt to his voice, one that made Tina raise a brow. "Would this _someone_ happen to be his butler, by any chance? The young Credence?"

"I... What?" Tina answered, eyes wide with surprise, "But how...?"

"Actually," Newt chuckled, "it explains a lot. I thought about it as soon as I met them. The way they looked at each other yesterday... Have you never noticed? Mister Graves was staring at this young man as if he was the sun."

Tina gaped at him, too shocked to realise how impolite that was. Had Newt really figured out in a few minutes what she would never have understood if she had not caught Percival and Credence together? Sure, his job was to study animal behaviour and humans were not far from animals, but still... She was impressed. And a little confused as well by his joyful reaction.

"So you... do not mind it?" she asked, to be sure. "You do not think this is wrong or unnatural?"

To her surprise, Newt started to laugh and he plopped down on his bed, looking up at her.

"Humans," he snorted. "What a strange species, don't you think? Who are we to judge that love between a man and a woman is right while love between two men is wrong? You are meant to marry a man you don't love; does it feel right? More than the sincere love that binds your fiancé to his butler?"

Tina stared at him, speechless. Newt had a point and besides, Credence and Percival were certainly aware of the risks of such a relationship and the hardships they would face if their acquaintance was to be made public. Surely they believed that their love was worth it. It had to be real and genuine.

In a way, that sincerity probably made it worse for the both of them: knowing how in love they were with each other but being unable to share their happiness with anyone for fear of judgement and punishment... It must be awful.

"Have you ever seen wolves, Tina?" Newt asked out of the blue, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Wolves?" she repeated with an arched-up brow, unable to see the connection between both topics. "I... I cannot say that I have. Why?"

"Because I have," he answered her. "Beautiful creatures, wolves... I have observed them for months, a few years ago, and I realised that some male specimens - not all of them of course, or they would be extinct - developed a bond and a relation between themselves, one that we could call homosexual. Sometimes it is just a display of affection, a mating game, but sexual activity has also been observ... Am I making you uncomfortable?"

Tina gave out a weak laugh, aware that her cheeks were burning. It was not as much the topic that made her blush though, as hearing Newt mention sexual activity. Her mother would definitely have a stroke if she knew that her daughter was discussing this sort of matters with a man - other than her fiancé to top it all!

"Not at all," she bravely answered, praying that her face did not look as red as a lobster. "Please, continue..."

"Well, uh," Newt tried to get back on track, "The point is... Animals, not only wolves, often display homosexual behaviour. So... Doesn't it seem natural? It sure does to me."

"I guess," Tina said with some hesitation. "You know, Newt... I grew up in a household where ho... homosexual people are... My parents call them inverts, among nicest words. I do not want to think that way as well but it is hard, to turn my back on years of hearing rights and wrongs."

The redhead flashed her a bright smile and patted a spot next to him on the bed, inviting the young woman to sit close to him. Pink across her cheeks and heat settling down on her stomach, she nodded and came over, slowly lowering herself to sit side by side with the zoologist. She had never been as close to a man before: if she only slightly moved her hand to the right, she would be able to touch Newt's thigh. Tina clasped her hands together in her lap, until Newt grabbed one back.

"I think that you are much more than your parents have raised you to be," the young man said, staring at her. "And you seem to question their principles. It's good, Tina, you're doing okay already."

"Do you think so?" she asked with such a small voice that it got her another smile from Newt, this time less wide but much tender.

"Yes, I do," he gently told her, brushing a wayward lock of hair away from her face with his fingertips to tuck it behind her ear.

Tina grew bold once more, warmed by the shy touch and Newt's proximity, so she gathered up her courage and asked:

"Could you kiss me once more? I, uh... I really enjoyed that."

She wanted to see if she would feel the same way as before, or if the magic of their first kiss was gone, lost. Was it always this enjoyable? Or was it a one-time sensation only? Tina got her answer as soon as Newt's lips touched her mouth again. This time, she closed her eyes when he did and she let all the sensations crash over her, the tingling of their lips brushing together, the warmth of his fingers on her cheeks, the coarse fabric of Newt's waistcoat where she was clutching to him. She felt his soft breath against her lips and suddenly, she wanted to upset the gentle pace, she wanted to kiss Newt like men would sometimes kiss their sweethearts in empty alleys or in the shadows of a tree. Hungrily, passionately. She wanted to turn Newt mad with want in ways that a lady should not think about.

Tina decided that right now, she did not care about what a woman was or was not supposed - _allowed_ \- to do. Who would see her anyway? Who would know? Nobody but Newt, who did not complain when she pushed into the kiss and stole his breath. Soon the brush of their lips, while delicious, did not feel like it was enough anymore and Tina grabbed him by the collar of his white shirt to bring him closer. Newt gasped, surprised by her sudden move, and Tina chose that exact instant to part her lips and give her friend a proper kiss.

She was certain that the redhead actually mewled when their tongues touched, which felt a little strange, a little odd, but also warm. She was growing dizzy with delight, or perhaps the lack of oxygen as she claimed Newt's mouth and did not let go. The whole ordeal made her feel audacious, deliciously inappropriate and debauched, but above all, she felt like she had just found her freedom.

Kissing the man she wanted to kiss, the man she liked, gave her a feeling of power: she was not merely the pitiful girl who had to marry a stranger for the sake of her family, no! She _existed_ , she was a woman with a voice to be heard and a choice to make. She had already made it: her choice was currently holding onto her waist and shyly licking into her mouth. And good Lord, she loved it!

Tina relished every single one of those sensations and whished that it would never end but after a little while, they eventually had to part in order to keep breathing - although dying in Newt's arms would probably not be the worst way to go. The spell that seemed to have been cast on Tina broke as soon as they backed away from each other, although only slightly, and the young woman blushed when she caught sight of her friend's stunned face and wide eyes.

"Was that... too much?" she asked, looking down at her hands and not daring to meet Newt's gaze anymore.

Tina waited for his answer, scared and anxious to hear what he would say. Did he think that she had been too forward, too _manly_ in her actions? Or too pushy perhaps? Oh, what was he thinking, why was he not saying anything at all?

She nearly jumped when a gentle finger pushed her chin up and coaxed her into turning her head, and she drowned into Newt's pale green eyes.

"Not at all," he told her - and she was delighted to find that he looked quite red himself. "It was unexpected though, but... Uh, you know... Very enjoyable. So, please, any time you feel like doing this again... Uh, do?"

He finished his sentence with such a hopeful lilt to his question and eyes that shone so brightly that Tina could not hold back a little laugh, disbelieving but also relieved that Newt was not judging her eagerness - other men would not have expressed the same respect for her, she knew that.

"I will," she promised.

She even leaned in to drop a dry, chaste kiss on Newt's lips, a silent companion to her pledge, and the redhead surprised her again when he wrapped his arms around her waist and kept her in his embrace. They remained like that for a while, hugging and silent, listening to each other's breath and heartbeat. Newt's hair was tickling her cheek but she did not wish to move; in fact, she felt completely at ease and comfortable, ready to fall asleep right there and then.

"Tina?" Newt called softly after a moment. "About your fiancé and Credence..."

The young man trailed off, apparently a little hesitant to keep talking, and Tina shifted in his arms to look at him.

"What about them?"

"I think... I think we should be honest with them. About us," Newt explained. "Percival took a risk, telling you about his relationship with his young man, more than we would if we told them about us. Do you think it would be possible to have a word with them?"

Tina took her time to answer, thinking Newt's suggestion over and over. He was right of course, revealing the bloom of their own relationship was nowhere as dangerous for them as what Percival had done. For all he knew, Tina could have been running around screaming to everyone that her fiancé was a pervert. She thought of Credence for a minute and remembered his terrified face when he spotted her in the bedroom that he thought would shield Percival and him from the world, and she felt her heart tighten. The poor boy did not deserve that fear. They ought to speak together, if only to reassure Credence that his secret was safe.

"I guess we could," Tina said at last. "But you need to understand that discussing this matter shall not have any effect on my wedding with Percival, our families cannot know and therefore, there is nothing to be done about it. We are tied together by something more than just our personal taste in each other."

"I know that," Newt assured her, stroking her bare arm absentmindedly, "but perhaps... Perhaps, even married on paper, you two don't have to be more than that. You know, I was thinking... You and me, the both of them... Maybe we can work something out, all together."

Tina nodded, although a bit hesitantly, as it sounded too much like a dream. She wanted to hope though, she wanted to believe that it was possible for them all to live the way they wanted to. After a second, firmer nod, she grabbed Newt's hand in her own and led him outside of his tiny bedroom - although he soon had to take the lead again, so that Tina would not get them lost in unknown parts of the Titanic.

They walked though half the ship holding onto each other as if to give themselves strength and courage, but as they came around the first class quarters, Newt let go of her hand, the regret and longing clear in his eyes. They could not have it any other way though, not in this place, where so many people knew Tina and were aware that Percival and she were engaged: if anyone spotted her and Newt hand in hand and spoke about this matter to the Graves or the Goldstein's, this would jeopardise everything they were hoping for.

When they stopped in front of Percival's suite, Tina's heart was beating like crazy. She glanced at Newt, who flashed her an encouraging smile that helped her enough to make up her mind, and she knocked on the door sharply. There was no answer at first and this time, Tina did not dare to come uninvited - once was enough. She was about to suggest they came back later, when the door suddenly opened a few inches wide only and in the crack appeared part of Percival's face.

"Tina," he greeted her, tiredness in his voice, "and..."

The man trailed off as he caught sight of Newt, obviously recognising him from their previous encounter on the deck and wondering what he was doing there. All of a sudden, his only visible eye darkened and he hissed:

"What is _he_ doing here? Tina, have you _told_ him? You know what I said, it's..."

"Please," Newt interrupted with the most pleasant, friendly smile he could summon. "I assure you that Tina did nothing wrong. However, I believe we should talk. All of us."

Percival's reluctance showed but Tina's pleading look seemed to kill every ounce of resistance in him and finally defeated, he opened the door wider, allowing them inside. The young woman entered the same parlour she had already seen before, looking exactly the way it had but for one detail: Credence was sitting on the ground, hugging his knees with a blanket tightly wrapped around him. When he looked up at them, Tina realised that his eyes were red and his cheeks marred with tears.

"M... Miss Goldstein!", the boy gasped, before he broke into a sob and tried to stand, "I... I'm sorry, I'm so s... sorry! Please, don't think badly of Perc... Mister Graves! It's not his fault, it's not..."

"Shhhh, Credence," Percival whispered and he strode across the room to take the boy in his arms.

The young man immediately buried his face into Percival's chest and cried, and the older man let him wet his shirt with his tears, glaring at Newt and Tina as if to defy them to say anything. Tina, for her part, found herself unable to utter a single word; all she felt was remorse, for she realised that she was responsible for Credence's distress, what with her impromptu arrival earlier, and now she had interrupted them again in a time when the two lovers probably needed to be alone and comfort each other.

"Sorry for barging in," Newt eventually said, his voice soft and as nonthreatening as could be. "We don't mean to bother you. Do you think perhaps we could all sit down and have a word?"

"Why don't you tell us what you want to talk about first and then we'll see whether or not we want to listen and have you sit down?" Percival shot back, clearly aggressive and still ferociously protective of Credence, standing frozen in his arms.

Tina's eyes grew wide with shock at hearing her fiancé's tone, although she guessed he had every right to feel angry: as far as he knew, Newt and she were not there to suggest a solution to their shared problem. She realised with a start that Percival was acting just like she had behaved towards him whenever he had tried to talk to her before: in his eyes, she was responsible for their current situation and did not have the patience to be polite still. She, too, had snapped at him more than once...

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Newt eventually started, easily agreeing to Percival's not-too-kind request, "but you don't wish to marry Tina here, do you?"

"No, I don't," Percival scoffed, before he seemed to realise that it sounded rather rude and added, a bit apologetic, "No offense."

"None taken," Tina answered immediately, "Neither do I."

A short silence followed but since Percival's was still scowling and did not look any tamer than before, Newt heaved a sigh and added, choosing to be clear once and for all:

"I wish to court your fiancée, Mister Graves. And I think this might interest you, since it could very well help you both, regarding this wedding."

Tina glanced at her friend with an oddly amused admiration, even though it was not the time, but hearing him speak with so much determination, he who always seemed to be hesitant with his words, was unusual.

"Sit down."

Credence had spoken, his voice low but audible in the stunned silence coming from Percival. His forehead still resting against his lover's chest, he had turned his head to stare at Tina and Newt, observing them in a new light. He did look a bit less terrified, although still obviously scared, but now curiosity and hope, tainted with carefulness, shone in his teary eyes.

"Well," Percival said gruffly, not yet ready to drop all distrust, "You heard Credence. Have a seat."

Tina and Newt complied, while the two others moved to settle on a cushioned couch, and Percival rested his hand on Credence's, that were lightly shaking as he clutched them to his chest. The boy felt like he was awaiting judgement.

"So..." Percival said, the line of his shoulders terribly stiff under his shirt, "Mister... Scamander, was it? Are you serious?"

"Very much so," the red-haired man nodded, with a quick smile for Tina, "We have grown fond of each other but we didn't see any way to... take this further. I guess you didn't either."

Credence shook his head briefly, then stared at Newt in wonder. This man... This man obviously knew about Percival and him, yet he hadn't even addressed the matter: he had just rolled with it and had apparently thought of a solution - or so he hoped. It was the first time that the boy met someone who knew about their relation and didn't turn a mean eye toward them and didn't judge their life... Newt was treating them like he would a normal person. This felt new. Credence could get used to it.

"I already told Newt that we could not avoid this wedding," Tina added timidly, for it was highly unusual for a woman to speak her mind when she was surrounded by men, "but he thought that maybe we could figure out a solution."

"See each other in secret," the zoologist explained. "You would be married like your families want you to but behind closed doors, nothing would keep you from being together with the person you wish to be with..."

Credence turned bright eyes to his lover, his face so hopeful that Percival could not help but smile at him, squeezing his hand. They had already imagined that they would keep seeing each other even after the wedding but they knew it would be hard, to sneak behind Tina's back for stolen kisses and a few minutes spent in each other's company. However, now that she was aware of the nature of the relation between the two men, now that she seemed to have found a lover of her own... Perhaps this would turn out to be easier than they all thought.

"My parents prepared a mansion for us in America," Percival said slowly, apparently out of the blue. "The property belonged to a great-great-grand-aunt of mine, something like that, but we always lived in England and never inhabited it. However, since my... wife and I are meant to live in the United States, my parents thought I would like the gift... The point is, there are plenty of bedrooms. You could move in if you wanted to, Mister Scamander."

Tina could not believe her own ears. Was Percival actually serious?

"Really?" she whispered.

The older man nodded and Newt rose to his feet to cross the room and grab Percival's hand that was not holding onto his young lover.

"Thank you," he murmured. "But please, call me Newt."

"Newt," Percival agreed, grumbling, "Fine. And... Thank you, for coming up with this idea."

"I didn't think anything good would come out of this," Credence added in a whisper. "Thank you so, so much."

"P... Please," Newt stammered, suddenly blushing under the grateful attention he was getting, "I'm... I'm only doing the right thing."

"Which is exactly what some other people would _not_ have done," Percival concluded.

Newt did not answer, aware that the older man was right - and a realist. In front of him, Credence looked much more at ease than before and the redhead decided that maybe this could be the right time to leave: they would have time to discuss the details later. Besides, he guessed that nothing would comfort the young boy better than Percival's embrace, which would not happen as long as Tina and he stood in the same room as them.

"We'll leave you two alone," he said gently, and he grinned when Tina approached until she was close enough to take his hand. "Now that we understand each other, I think we will be all right. All of us."

Percival and Credence nodded but before they could stand up to walk them to the door, Tina briefly bent down to hug the young butler and rested a light kiss on top of his hair.

"I'm sorry," she told him quietly, "for scaring you so badly. And for everything I ever said or done that hurt you."

"It's... It's all right, Miss Tina," the boy answered slowly, awkwardly patting the woman's shoulder. "Don't worry. It could have been worse, right?"

  


  


Later, lying in the middle of their tangled bed sheets and soaked in sweat, Credence was trying to get his breathing back to normal, panting with exhaustion and shaking with lingering sparks of pleasure. Pressed against his back, Percival was peppering his bare shoulders with kisses.

"Is this a dream?" Credence asked softly.

"Then I hope we never wake up," his lover answered in a breath, tickling his neck.

Percival did not mention the idea that had been born in his mind after their discussion with Newt and Tina. Perhaps... Not too soon, of course, maybe after one or two years, maybe three, when the Goldstein's would have gotten their wealth back, they could get a divorce. They needed a good reason to do it, of course, and they could obviously not use the fact that Percival was homosexual, but... They could find a pretext. No child, for example. This would set the fault on Tina and he didn't like it, but if it enabled them to be with their own lover for real... Perhaps she would agree to it.

Perhaps he was daydreaming, though. Perhaps none of it would turn out to be possible. In the meantime though, Percival chose to hope.

After all, maybe the Titanic, the so-called _ship of dreams_ , would prove to be worthy of her nickname at last.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! As always, feel free to share your thoughts on this chapter (it would make me very happy!) Until next time!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry for the long wait, real life got in the way and I found this chapter really hard to write. I hope you'll enjoy it though! If you've seen the movie Titanic, you won't be surprised by one of the scenes in this chapter but I hope you'll like my take on it! Oh, and just so you know, the message at the beginning of this chapter is a real message sent by the Titanic :)

  


_\- April 14. German steamer Amerika reported by radio-telegraph passing two large icebergs in latitude 41°27', longitude 50°8'. Titanic -_

  


For the first time in days, Tina slept well that night, even in the middle of the ocean with the ship rolling gently atop the waves. When she woke up in the morning, she felt rested and ready for the day, actually happy to get up, which her sister didn't fail to notice.

"You seem unusually bright this morning," Queenie pointed out while they got dressed, both looking at themselves in the mirror at the same time. "Something to do with that dear Newt?"

"Something like that, yes," Tina mumbled, although she was smiling.

She knew that she could not be completely honest with her sister regarding the recent developments in her relationship with her fiancé and with Newt, for it would reveal secrets that she was not allowed to share herself. Regardless, Tina could not keep every single detail from her sister.

"Newt and I have decided to keep seeing each other," she explained. "I want to enjoy the time we have presently."

"Oh," Queenie said, surprised. "It's great, Tina. Just... Be careful, please. Do not get caught with him, or you will be in trouble."

"I know," she answered, quieter than before.

Queenie was right, of course. If the Graves or the Goldstein's had the slightest suspicion about Newt and her, this would turn out rather badly, Tina knew that - and it would be even worse if Percival and Credence were caught. The two men were used to hiding though, had been for years, which put them at a slight advantage.

But the redhead had come up with his own solution and he had suggested that Tina and he only met down the third-class quarters, where no one knew the young woman by name and most importantly, where no one was aware that she was engaged to another man. Therefore, no one should report them.

And as far as Percival and Credence were concerned, they would not mind at all that Tina spent a lot of time in Newt's company - quite the opposite. After all, as long as Percival and her were not together, the both of them could do just about everything they wanted with their respective lover... Maybe they should plan on doing some activities together though, just to keep up appearances. Since they were engaged, they could not just never be seen together, that would look strange to the gossipy ladies from first class.

The concert from the previous day, on the late afternoon, had been a golden opportunity for her and Percival to stand side by side, which got both of their mothers to beam as they caught sight of the small smiles the future husband and wife flashed each other. Those smiles were genuine, for once, smiles of connivance and secret understanding. Well, if the people around them believed that they were slowly falling in love... It was for the best, right?

"Will you need the suite to yourself for a little while?" Queenie asked all of a sudden, wiggling her neat eyebrows in a suggestive way that made Tina go bright red.

"N... No!" she stammered, "We are not... We have not..."

"Do you want to?" her sister enquired, not at all embarrassed to discuss this. "Or does Percival expect to marry a virgin?"

"I... I don't know if he does," Tina answered, trying not to laugh at the idea of Percival's face if he were to find himself in the same bed as her - although two days ago, she would not have laughed but cried at the mere mention of her wedding night.

"You didn't answer my other question," Queenie snickered, eyes bright, "so I'll take it as a yes."

Tina grumbled something that her sister didn't catch, before she raised her voice and told Queenie that she would spend the day with Newt.

"I'll cover for you," her sister immediately suggested, all teasing gone, and she laid both her hands over her stomach. "Kowalski Junior is making me feel lightheaded anyway, I think I will stay here and rest. If anyone comes looking for you, I could say that today is a sisters' day."

"Do you want me to stay with you instead?" Tina asked, worried that her sister might need help at some point. "I can only spend the morning with Newt, if you'd rather..."

"Don't be silly," Queenie answered, waving a hand dismissively. "Stay with him, I'll be fine. I'm just tired, but I think it's not just the baby. The journey has something to do with it as well..."

"A few more days to go," Tina tried to cheer her up, "and then you'll be able to tell Jacob about the baby and have him fuss over you as he brings you pastries every single hour."

Queenie laughed at that and eventually, she shooed her sister out of the room and told her to have fun - an injunction Tina would follow dutifully. Now that she didn't fear Percival's wrath anymore, few things would keep her away from Newt.

Skipping happily through the ship corridors, the young woman quickly got down to the third class quarters and felt quite proud when she reached her destination without having to ask for directions. The dining-room was not as crowded as the previous day, for most people had already had their breakfast. A few families with children remained though, as they had probably let their kids oversleep and were enjoying a late breakfast.

Tina's attention quickly switched from the passengers to the lanky red-haired man waiting by the doors of the room, the smile easily coming on his lips as he saw her. He bent his body in a playful curtsy and offered his arm to his friend.

"Tina," he greeted her cheerfully, "I'm glad you made it! You look beautiful."

"Thank you," she replied with a smile as she took his arm and let herself be carried away to a free table.

She attracted less attention than the last time, both because there weren't as many people as before and because she had chosen her simplest dress to come to the dining-room, a long dress in soft shades of brown. She stood out less in the room and the other passengers barely looked at her - even then, they merely greeted Newt and her as if they were just another couple from third class. It felt good to blend in.

For the first time in her life, Tina had breakfast alone with a man. The thought made her nervous at first, for she was not sure that she would be able to keep Newt entertained with her conversation - and what if she choked on her apple juice or got something stuck between her teeth? - but then she remembered that she was talking to _Newt_. Not some pompous man from first class but her friend, the man who blushed if she stared at him for too long, the awkward man who loved animals and drew them and... Oh. Speaking of which...

"You said you could teach me a few things in order to draw animals," she reminded her friend, "Does that offer still stand?"

"Oh, of course, if you still want to!" Newt exclaimed with another one of his crooked smile.

Yes, Tina wanted to, and she told him so. She kept for herself, however, that she thought it would make her feel closer to Newt, entering his small own world of a life with animals. She wanted to learn him, his passion, and hear him talk for hours about the creatures he had seen, those he studied, those he liked the most.

Thus, after breakfast, Newt led Tina to his chambers once more and let her into his tiny bedroom, where he made a mess as he looked everywhere for his notebook.

"I should remind you that I'm not a professional," he shyly said as he searched the room, "Neither an artist nor a tutor, so... I shall do my best but forgive me if I'm not very good at that."

"Do not worry," Tina chuckled as she glanced around the room, searching as well but not daring to touch anything, for fear of upsetting Newt's carefully ordered mess. "Maybe I will turn out to be an awful student."

"Ah, there it is!" the redhead finally exclaimed once he had grabbed his notebook, as well as a pencil. "Sit down, sit down..."

Much like the previous day, the both of them settled down on the berth. There was less kissing involved but Tina found out that she liked this too, just being close to Newt without even doing anything that other people would have considered inappropriate.

Newt ripped out a blank page from his notebook and fumbled for an item under his pillow, which turned out to be a hardback book - the Republic of Plato, with the full Greek text and a Latin translation. Flipping the page over Plato's work, Newt handed it to Tina.

"It is easier to start drawing with reference," he said as he opened his own notebook to a sketch of a peacock, "than from imagination. This way, you can see the proportions or the way the lights hit the model and you can focus on your lines first."

Tina nodded, privately thinking that it sounded more complicated than she thought. Newt's drawing looked neat and precise, and she knew she would never be able to accomplish the same thing on her first try.

"What should I draw?" she asked, worrying the pencil between her nervous fingers.

"Well, what do you want to draw?" Newt asked back, smiling gently. "You have to chose an animal you like, so that your motivation to reproduce it properly strikes."

Tina didn't answer, instead leaning into Newt's space in order to look down at the notebook, propped on his knees. Slowly, she turned a few pages, discovering the animals the young man had drawn over the years. Wolves, birds whose names she did not know, an ape that was labelled as a bonobo, more monkeys eating fruits, a baby fox asleep with its tail wrapping around itself, an elephant, a snake and... Was that a grizzly? Good Lord, how close of that beast did Newt go?!

"I do not know which to pick," she admitted at last. "All your drawings are so beautiful!"

Just like every other time she had complimented him, the zoologist blushed and attempted not to make a big deal out of it, mumbling that he was only trying his best - but he was glad that she thought he had succeeded.

Eventually, Tina picked the baby fox. Her barely-there confidence vanished completely after a few strokes of her pencil across the paper.

"It is not half-done yet and it already looks nothing like a fox," she complained, a bit disappointed.

"It's alright, don't worry," Newt said gently, "You only have to..."

Trailing off, he shifted his weight on the bed and came to sit closer to Tina, whose hand he covered with his own so that he could guide her fingers.

"There," he whispered against her neck, staring at their hands, "Slowly..."

Carefully, the red-haired man helped his friend's fingers to move swiftly across the sheet of paper, starting back on her hesitant lines and smoothing them, making them neater and rounder, until the back and the beginning of a fox head appeared. Newt was the only one drawing though, for Tina had lost all her concentration as soon as the young man had settled himself by her side. Between the warmth of his hand upon hers and his breath against the sensitive skin of her neck, she did not know what to focus on anymore. If Newt had not been holding the pencil along with her, she would have dropped it long ago already.

Tina gave a nervous laugh and tried to concentrate again - but failed.

"Do you also happen to draw people?" she asked even as Newt coaxed her hand into sketching the cute ears of the fox.

"I seldom do," he said with a smile, "for I mostly work in wild surroundings where no one else goes..."

"Would you draw me?" Tina asked again, feeling herself blush at her own question.

Newt's movements stopped abruptly.

"You..." he stammered, "Do you want me to? I... I don't know if... I'm not sure I will manage to do you justice."

"Well, you will not know until you try, right?"

She was teasing him but it was merely a way to keep her thoughts away from her own embarrassment at the suggestion. What was she thinking? Drawing her... would have been fine if she had just meant a quick sketch as she remained still for a few minutes. What she wanted, though... was a bit more than that.

"All right," Newt eventually agreed, blissfully unaware of the thoughts running through Tina's mind as he opened his notebook to another blank page. "You should stand or sit in a position that you'll be able to hold for a little while. Do you want a portrait or a full body drawing?"

"Full body drawing, I think," she answered before she turned around, showing her back to him. "But I will need your help first. Could you untie my dress for me, please?"

She heard Newt choke.

"Un... Untie... But... Oh. That kind of drawing," he stammered, sounding both amazed and terrified by her idea. "I... Uh, all right, I guess?"

He took one step closer and rested his hands on Tina's shoulders, his fingers and palms dimly warm through the fabric, and she felt him tremble.

"I... have never done this before," he whispered, trailing his fingers down to the base of the laced corset at the back of her gown. "I have never undressed a woman before."

Tina did not answer. Instead, she breathed in deeply when Newt worked clumsy fingers to untie the corset and slowly, carefully started to undress her. He might never have done this before but neither had she, and she shivered in mixed apprehension and excitement as Newt took off her clothes. Would he like the way she looked? She felt almost scared not to meet his expectations and briefly thought of stopping this to protect her own self-esteem, but she reconsidered. She knew that Newt would stop if she asked him to, he would not even ask any question, but she wanted to do this. She wanted to show herself as she was to the young man.

When Newt finally slipped the dress off her body, Tina closed her eyes. All that was left between her skin and the redhead's fingers was her muslin undergarment.

"Is this okay?" the zoologist asked shyly as he laid his hands on her waist.

"Y... yes," she stuttered. "K... Keep going. Please."

And he did. Naked at last, Tina turned around, keeping her eyes at the level of Newt's chest, not daring to meet his gaze. When she heard him gasp though, she could not resist casting a glance up to his face. The young man looked flushed, his cheeks a flaming red, and shining in his eyes was an odd mix of fascination and shame, as if he were sorry for staring at her but still unable to advert his gaze.

"You..." he trailed off, opened his mouth, closed it, started over, "You l... look beautiful."

"Thank you," Tina said, suddenly shy herself.

She felt odd, torn between the desire to remain standing in front of Newt, to bare herself to his gaze, and the need to hide under the sheets of the bed. Above all though, there was this heat, burning inside of her, the pleasure at being stared at so bashfully by a man.

Tina eventually turned around and walked toward the bed, on which she sat slowly, trying to figure out what would be the most comfortable position for her while Newt worked his magic in his notebook. In the end though, she decided to ask for his opinion - after all, he was the artist, not her.

"How do you want me?"

Newt sputtered and became even redder than before, which made Tina realise that perhaps her wording sounded a little ambiguous. She probably should not laugh at him but truly, seeing Newt so shy was quite endearing. It made her forget about her own apprehension.

"However you please," the redhead finally managed to say.

Nodding, Tina shifted on the mattress so that she could sit in the middle of the bed comfortably; she stuck one leg out but heard a strangled gasp, so she slowly brought her leg back to her and sat with her knees drawn up almost to her chest. They could not have Newt pass out now, could they? She flashed a tiny, teasing smile at him and reached out behind her until she could lay one of her hands flat against the bed, exposing her chest while she draped her other arm over her knees.

There, perfect. Not too hard on her joints, not too exposing, just her breasts. Would Newt feel awkward drawing her like that?

"I am ready," she told him softly. "Are you comfortable?"

"Very much so, thank you," he answered, too fast, too stiffly.

"Newt... If you do not want to do this..."

"I do!" he exclaimed, turning wide eyes her way. "I'm just... not used to this at all. And... I... I can't say that I'm not... affected. By your charms. I mean, you... You're beautiful, I know I said that already, but... Uh. So, drawing, yes, uh... Please, don't move?"

He cut his babbling short and smiled in apology, before he started on his work. He had no other choice but to give her a good look before though, so that he could draw the outlines of her body in soft, light strokes of his pencil.

Tina did no dare to speak as he drew her, afraid to distract him. Instead of talking, she stared at him without shame - was he not doing the exact same thing, after all? - and noted the way his eyes quickly looked up, settled on her left shoulder, went back to the notebook, shot up again to observe her neck. She did not know how long she stayed quiet but after a while, she could not hold herself back any longer - especially not when Newt, based on the direction his eyes were looking in, started to draw her breasts that had hardened with the gentle chill of the room and turned a fiery red.

"Do you also blush when you draw monkeys?" she asked, openly making fun of him now.

If anything, the young man flushed a bit more at her comment and stammered:

"Monkeys don't... They aren't..." Newt started, making a vague gesture at her with his pencil. "Oh, God..."

Tina chuckled but took pity on her friend and did not ask for a more detailed explanation. In fact, she was secretly pleased that she had such an effect on Newt, that he was losing his words at the mere sight of her. She felt gorgeous under his gaze, which she had never considered herself as - she had learned, when she was a little girl, that vanity was a sin. But Newt made her want to sin in all the possible ways.

Did it not feel a bit hot in there?

Although she had not said that aloud, Newt seemed to think the same and he slowly undid his bowtie with one hand, the other clenching onto his pencil, his gaze resolutely set on Tina's face this time. He still looked flushed though, so much that the young woman actually started to worry.

"Newt, are you feeling all right?"

"Y... Yes," he stammered, before he admitted, "Well... Not really? I... Tina, do you mind if I don't finish this drawing today? I... I feel like I might die if I don't kiss you right this instant."

Tina felt her blood boil in her veins, heated from the inside by the unmistakable desire she heard in his voice and she could only nod before Newt surged forward. Their mouths met halfway in a kiss, Tina sitting up and grabbing the redhead by the collar of his shirt to draw him closer to her, closer to her naked body.

She was burning with sensations she had not experienced before, burning with desire, and she pressed her lips against his almost in desperation, not knowing what else to do in order to quench her thirst and sate the fire inside her. Or perhaps she could...

"You are wearing too many clothes," Tina breathed out against Newt's lips, smiling softly at the quiet, shocked laugh she gained from her bold statement and everything it implied.

He looked at her with amusement but Tina also noticed the slight hesitation in his eyes; before she could ask whether he felt all right, Newt kissed her again, slowly, and rested their foreheads together, still staring at her.

"Tina..." he whispered, "Can we just... take it slow? You know, not... not do the whole... thing. Not today, at least? I want to do this right, not rush it. Especially not in a third-class berth with thin walls around."

The young woman looked at him, a gentle smile curling up her lips as he went from awkward to decided.

"I did not mean..." she started, before she flushed and suddenly realised how embarrassed Newt had been exactly, speaking about this.

No one ever talked about sex in society, even married couples did not exactly share thoughts with each other about that. Well, most of them. Everything Tina knew about making love, she got it from Queenie, who did not seem to feel awkward as she spoke about that. Tina did not think that her sister could ever actually feel embarrassed of discussing such matters, she was so open-minded! So, without any actual experience, she knew a little bit about the _thing_. And she knew that, just like Newt, she would not actually want her first time to happen with so many strangers who could hear them around.

"I did not mean _that_ ," Tina started over. "We will have all the time in the world once we arrive in America, right? For now, I just... I want to see you. Feel you, against me. Just... Please?"

Newt only answered with a shaky nod and started to work on the buttons of his shirt under Tina's hungry, unabashed gaze. She had never seen a man naked in her life and neither had she ever imagined that she would enjoy witnessing one of them strip in front of her, yet right now... She could not take her eyes off of Newt.

Slowly, he revealed the white of his shoulders and chest and the surprising golden shade of his arms that countless hours spent with rolled-up sleeves under the wild sun had provided him with. Tina was able to see several scars on his muscular but lithe body and she wondered what kinds of animal had left all of those.

Newt was a man of contrasts, as it seemed: supple, almost graceful body, although carrying itself awkwardly, but undeniably strong, mix of white and tanned skin; a man shy in his words but firm in his moves as he unbuttoned his pants and slid them off his legs along with his undergarments, until he stood completely offered in front of Tina.

Wordlessly, she reached out for his hand and dragged him forward, on the bed, next to her. Still silent but both smiling, looking at each other to witness their respective reactions, they finally, finally! touched their bodies. A gentle hand retraced the outlines of the breasts it had drawn on paper a few minutes earlier, coaxing rosy nipples into hardening, fingertips dancing lower to caress a milky thigh that trembled under their touch, while another hand, curious and fascinated, counted scarred ribs, discovered the dips and bumps of toned abs and daringly reached for the half-hard penis swelling between strong legs.

Newt moaned at the sudden but gentle, almost careful touch, and Tina felt an answering heat pool in her stomach. She could not wait to arrive in New York.

  


  


The stars shone brightly in the dark sky, Credence noticed as he strolled around the main deck with Percival leisurely, hand in hand. It was late, around half past eleven already, and the deck was almost deserted at this hour of the night, thus enabling Credence and his lover to get out of the suite together, like a normal couple - sort of.

Fingers entwined, they still walked with a little distance between their bodies instead of pressing together to share warmth in this cold night; they did not dare to. They had to be able to break apart suddenly if needed and letting go of each other's hand was quicker (and looked less suspicious) than having to step aside.

Credence hated it though, hated to be on the lookout for other passengers instead of fully enjoying his time with Percival.

"I wish I could kiss you right here and now," he said quietly, giving voice to his distress.

The hold on his hand tightened and the older man answered on the same low tone:

"Do you want to go back to the suite? I can think of many things I'd wish to do to you, once inside."

Credence laughed at that, squeezing his lover's hand with affection.

"In a little while," he decided. "It's a beautiful night."

"It is," Percival agreed, staring up to the sky and the shiny, twinkling dots with a smile. "I think we..."

Percival never managed to say what he thought in that very instant. Suddenly, his words were drowned in a loud, terrifying crash and the deck began to shake under their feet, so violently that Credence was thrown off-balance and fell backwards, dragging his lover down with him. The whole Titanic was vibrating under them, waves of shock rolling through the ship and their bodies and...

"What's happening?" Credence screamed, holding onto Percival's hand as if it were a buoy.

"I don't know!" he answered, trying to gather the younger man in his arms even as he looked around, trying to find the source of the sudden mayhem, "I don't unders... Oh, Lord."

Percival fell deadly silent, prompting Credence to crane his neck around to see what his lover did and he gasped when the ship passed close, too close, to a huge, icy block towering above them.

"An iceberg," Credence whispered in a breath.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading so far and for your support! Comments would be very appreciated, so feel free to share your thoughts :) Until next time!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Here comes the 8th chapter, I hope you will uh, like it, in spite of... Well you know, hitting an iceberg is not fun. So, enjoy, I guess?

  


Credence was trembling when Percival and he made it to their suite, as if the violence of the earlier shock had followed him inside. The young man looked completely dumbfounded and, his companion realised, terrified.

"Are you all right, love?"

"N... No. Percival, we... We hit an iceberg! How could that even happen?"

"I don't know," the other answered, trying to sound calm and collected so that Credence would remain so as well. "The fog is thick outside... Perhaps they didn't see it?"

"But it was huge! How..."

Credence suddenly grew silent, which was somehow even more worrying than hearing his brittle voice. He looked paler than he usually did and the way his dark eyes widened with some unknown epiphany was enough to make Percival nervous as well.

"What is it?" he asked, taking his lover's hand urgently.

"Do you..." Credence started with an edgy laugh, almost as if he did not want to hear his own words and certainly not believe they might prove true, "Do you think the ship will sink?"

Consternated by the horrible thought, Percival could only stare at Credence. He wanted to reassure him and tell him _no, of course not!_ and he whished he could say that and laugh his concerns away. But in truth... He had seen the iceberg - _huge_ , Credence had said, and he was right - and he had felt the shock when it had rippled through the ship. What could send such vibrations throughout a boat, if not for something big and powerful? Most importantly, since it was that large, how could it possibly not damage the ship?

"The Titanic is said to be unsinkable..." he tried weakly, aware that Credence would not be easily convinced.

Indeed, the fearful eyes looked more unsure than he had ever seen them. Eager to comfort his lover, Percival wrapped the boy in his embrace and kissed the top of his head.

"If you want," he whispered against the younger man's hair, "I can try to find Captain Smith and ask him what has been damaged - if anything has."

"He must be busy..."

"Then I will find Thomas Andrews," Percival answered, anything to keep his boy's mind at ease. "He's the architect, surely he knows what his own ship can or cannot survive. We have spoken several times on the journey so far, I'm sure he will agree to talk to me."

Credence nodded and took a step back to allow Percival to leave, which he wasted no time in doing: the sooner he could have a word with an authority on this ship, the sooner he could come back to his lover and appease him - hopefully.

In the hallways, Percival bypassed several people, mostly ladies in dressing gowns who had felt the vibrations and were wondering what had happened. The men must still be in the dining saloon, drinking a last whiskey, but they would probably come back to check on their spouses and daughters after the incident.

They asked him questions, of course, seeing that he was an important, well-known man who must have all the answers, but he did not breathe a word of what he had seen on the deck earlier. Surely it would turn everyone nervous and panicky, which they could not have. Maybe there was nothing to worry about, after all. But if there was... Keeping the other passengers calm as long as possible would quickly become a priority.

Percival's last hopes of the situation being under control and far less disquieting than he thought vanished as soon as he reached the Captain's cabin. Men were running everywhere, barking orders and handling the telephones to call the lower levers and the engine room, but Percival could not see either of the two men he wanted to talk to. Where were the Captain and Andrews in such a time?

Percival obtained his answer when he turned around: striding towards the cabin, both men looked aghast and white, almost as if they had already seen the ghost of the Titanic. This did not bode well.

"Mister Andrews, Captain!" Percival shouted, heading their way.

"Not now, Mister Graves," Thomas Andrews answered with an apologetic smile, taking the time to actually stop while Captain Smith went straight ahead, "I am sorry but we have encountered a... uh, technical issue and..."

"I know, I was on the main deck when we hit the iceberg," Percival said, dropping his voice a little as he was certain that Andrews would not like to talk about this far more loudly.

"Oh. So you... you saw," Andrews whispered as well.

"Yes. How's she? The ship, I mean?"

Thomas looked around them a few times, then he grabbed Percival's arm and pushed him in a nearby, deserted hallway.

"It's bad," he explained quickly, "the iceberg buckled the plates of the hull and water has a way inside the ship. Five compartments are already lost."

"Meaning?"

Andrews took a deep breath, every word painful on his tongue and in his heart.

"The Titanic is going to sink. In one hour, two at most. We have no choice but to abandon the ship, the Captain should muster the passengers in a few minutes."

Percival felt the blood drain from his face at this announcement and he stared, gaping, at the architect. The Titanic, sinking? The very fate everyone had denied her? He did not know whether he should laugh or cry at the cruel irony.

"Mister Graves," Andrews added in an afterthought, almost hesitantly, "You... You have a fiancée, I believe?"

Percival had to clear his throat before he could utter a proper word.

"I do... What does it have to do with..."

He trailed off when he met the architect's anxious gaze and noticed the shameful expression that had appeared on his face.

"I am so sorry," he whispered. "Please, if you want her to live, bring her to the boat deck as soon as you can so that she will have access to one of the lifeboats."

"What are you..."

"Mister Graves!" Andrews exclaimed this time, almost desperately, "Please, do as I say! We... _I_ did not foresee such a turn of events, so I... There will not be enough lifeboats for every passenger. They are too few, I did not..."

Percival did not hear the rest of his sentence. He ran.

  


  


Not enough lifeboats. _Not enough lifeboats_. How the fuck did a ship carrying more than two thousands passengers not have the right number of lifeboats for emergencies like this?! Percival knew the answers he would be given: not enough room onboard, not aesthetic enough, not a care in the world, no need for them anyway because the freaking ship was _unsinkable_. Ah! The ship of dreams... Well, not anymore.

He nearly broke down the door of his suite in his haste to find Credence, who jumped on his feet in fright.

"Percival!" he exclaimed, not knowing whether to feel relieved at his lover's reappearance or worried at his ashen face. "What...?"

"The ship is sinking," he blurted out, unable to say it any less brusquely now. "We... we must find Tina and Queenie, help them before it's too late."

Credence, bless him, did not panic - and Percival was, however briefly, amused at his stoicism, since the younger man had been rather worried even before hearing about the Titanic's fate - but he closed the distance between them and captured Percival's mouth in a long kiss.

"Tell me that we will be all right," the young man whispered between their lips.

"We will do everything we can to be so, won't we?" the other answered with a smile, hiding his pain at not being able to promise anything in this instant. "Now, we should take our warmest coats. The night is cold and I'm not sure how long we'll stay outside."

Credence nodded and wordlessly slipped in the other room to retrieve their clothes, while Percival looked around the parlour that had been their own home for a few days. Blissful days, he would call them, for they had offered the two of them the most precious gift the world could have given them: hope. Hope for acceptance and a life together, far from arranged marriages and undesired relationships. They had been so close to see their secret dream come true... It was not too late, not really, but now they had to go through more hardships than they had planned. It seemed almost like a curse, set on destroying them.

As he stared at Credence, coming back from the bedroom with their two coats, he vowed to protect him fiercely from what was coming. The lifeboats... Not only were they too few but Percival was aware that they would not be easily accessible to men either: women and children first, at least for those who would manage to get in. Credence and he... They probably would not be so lucky.

"Here," the younger man said as he handed Percival his black coat, "I put some banknotes in the pockets, I thought... I don't know. Do you reckon we should take anything else?"

"As long as we are both safe, the rest doesn't matter," Percival decided with a shake of his head. "Listen, I know you probably don't want us to be separated right now but... Can you do this for me, please?"

"What?" Credence asked in surprise. "You want us to split now? What for?"

"Because I'll head down to the third class levels to try to find Newt. I believe Tina would be reassured to have him with us."

He did not add that she would want to say goodbye if they could not reach a lifeboat each, for it hit a little too close to home. Instead, he cleared his throat and kept going:

"I need you to wake up my parents and Tina's family. Explain everything as quickly as you can, tell them to dress warmly and get out on the boat deck. I'll meet you there, with Newt if I can."

"Percival..." Credence tried to protest, only to be cut off by a sudden kiss.

"I know you don't want to, love," the older man said, squeezing his companion's shaky hand, "but we have to do our part."

Letting go of each other, as they opened the door of the suite, was the hardest thing they ever had to do.

  


  


Everything was strangely and eerily calm aboard the Titanic. While he left the first class quarters, Percival could only hear polite stewards recommending their rich passengers to gather on the deck; no mention of the iceberg or the impending sinking, just... Nothing. A drill, they said brightly, even as they handed life jackets to everyone.

"It's too cold outside," a young woman grumbled - _how unladylike!_ her mother scoffed.

And that was it. The drill, as they called it to avoid panic, did not awake much fright in the passengers' mind, who thus decided to remain inside. Percival would have screamed at them to go out but he had another purpose right now - and a horrible part of him realised that if those people did not find any use in the lifeboats, Credence surely would. He hated himself at that thought.

Percival shook his head and started his way down to the third class levels, where he quickly realised that the atmosphere was... different. A bad different.

It was utter chaos. Hundreds of people had been told to get out of their bedrooms and were yelling in a mix of English, Italian, French and what else that they did not want to get out. As he passed by, Percival understood why: unlike the first class passengers, these people... They had nothing, or very little. No warm coats, no, but children to carry up the stairs instead.

He only noticed one similitude between up there or down here: no one had explained what was happening, which made the people all the more recalcitrant to follow the orders given by overwhelmed stewards who had to yell in order to make themselves clear.

In the middle of this tumult, Percival had no idea how he would find Newt. Shit, he really had not thought this through and to top it all, he did not have much time. A little less than one hour had slipped away already since the ship had hit the iceberg and if Andrews was right... Lord, how would they make it?

"Newt!" he eventually yelled, craning his neck to sweep the crowded, narrow hallways, "Scamander! Hey, do you know Newt Scamander? Redhead, lanky?"

The young man he had called out to only shook his head. Maybe he had not even understood Percival's meaning. Heaving a sigh of frustration, the man ran a hand through his damp hair, quickly growing too hot with his thick coat in the crowd. Where could Newt possibly be? If he was still in his bedroom, there was little hope for Percival to find him: third class quarters were a maze, he could walk twice in front of his door and not realise it.

He did not even know the man enough to tell where he might be now: dining-room, smoking-room? Did they even have one or was it restricted to the first class passengers only?

"Newt? Newt!"

Think, Percival, think! What did he know about Newt? For starters, that he was kind of awkward and shy, so he would certainly not mingle with the crowd, right? Then, he was also a... What did he say, that day when they met for the first time? He was a sort of scientist, was he not? And if he were a scientist, Percival knew exactly where he would go in the middle of a crisis like this one: the closest to the source as possible.

Just as he sighed deeply and prayed that Newt had not been stupid enough to get close to the compartments Andrews had spoken of, Percival caught a flash of red hair turning at the corner of a perpendicular hallway.

"Newt!" he yelled, hoping he was not mistaken as he ran after the fleeting image, "Newt, wait!"

Percival nearly collided with the tall redhead, for it was actually him, when he rounded the corner and Newt only had the time to reach out and steady him lest he fell backwards.

"Mister Graves?" the taller man asked in surprise. "What are you doing here? Is everything all right?"

"No," Percival answered, shaking his head, "We must leave as quickly as we can, the ship... We hit an iceberg, the Titanic is lost."

To his credit, Newt took it all in stride and did not ask questions, even though Percival was aware that his short explanation was not satisfying. The zoologist only nodded though, looking a bit pale.

"I thought I had noticed that the ship was not moving forward anymore... I had no idea why," the young man explained, before he suddenly exclaimed, "Tina! Is she..."

"Credence is with her," Percival immediately appeased him. "They are waiting for us at the boat deck, where the crew will launch the lifeboats. We should hurry."

He was about to suggest they found another way up to the higher levels than the one he had taken so that they could move faster, when people started to scream.

"What's happening?" Newt wondered, before the answer made itself plain in front of their eyes.

Water. Cold and fast, it was steadily invading the third class deck, unleashing chaos. People screamed and started to run, finally realising why the stewards were trying to get them out and handed them life belts. Children cried. A wind of panic settled in the crowd who ran for the stairs, pushing and pressing to escape first, falling, smashing the poor stewards against the walls to get out faster.

"Run!" Percival enjoined Newt, who quickly stopped him.

"Not that way! Follow me!"

Unable to ask questions right now, Percival decided to trust the zoologist, who doubtlessly knew the third class area better than he did. However, when Newt led them in front of another staircase, the other man stopped dead in his tracks.

"What are you doing?" he asked, a bit scared this time. "This goes down, not up!"

"It goes up after a while, I promise!" Newt told him. "It will be faster this way and there won't be as many passengers, come on!"

Really, what choice did he have? Hoping that he was not following a mad man into hell, Percival trod in the red-haired man's footsteps, going down until they stood in another corridor with water up to mid-thigh.

"Shit!" Newt exclaimed, "It's cold!"

Yes it was. Cold indeed, and quickly rising; both men were moving as fast as they could but the heaviness of their wet clothes were slowing them down. Percival was tempted to ditch his coat even though he knew that it would not be wise, for he would freeze once outside. Newt, on his part, had gathered the hem of his blue coat and was holding it above water, like a woman would her dress.

"It's not far anymore," Newt said after a little while that seemed to last an eternity to Percival.

He hoped Credence had found the girls and roused their families. How long had it been since they had split in front of their suite and shared a last kiss? It seemed like ages ago already... If luck was on their side, maybe there were enough lifeboats left.

Eventually, like Newt had promised, they found a narrow staircase with the first few steps drowning in water and up they went, up and up again, through a few more hallways and staircases. Percival felt like he could breathe more easily now, as they passed the second class quarters and finally reached the first class hallways and the Grand Staircase. Newt slowed down, an expression of pure awe on his freckled face.

"I know that now is not the right time," he said with a shy smile, "but look at this fine piece! I have always admired the balustrades, and the clock! Is it not..."

"Yeah, yeah," Percival cut in, "Marvellous. Hurry!"

When they came outside, Percival first noticed the band, playing merry songs and cherry rhythms, to the delight of a few passengers who were still so terribly unaware of what was going on around them. In the sea, still quite close to the Titanic, he caught sight of two lifeboats that had already been launched and he could not hold back a gasp.

"What are they doing?" Newt gave voice to his own thoughts, sounding furious. "By the looks of it, that boat can carry forty people! They are barely twenty inside!"

"I know," Percival agreed, his throat tight with what seemed to be despair, "I don't understand. I've been told there won't even be enough lifeboats for all of us, so why..."

"We must find the others," Newt growled between gritted teeth, "We must find them and get to the lifeboats as fast as we can, look!"

Percival followed the direction the redhead was pointing at with his finger and felt his stomach drop unpleasantly at the sight: if he looked down the bow, he could see that the ship was listing, the weight of the water dragging her down. Andrews was right: it would not last long.

"Newt..." Percival called softly, swallowing around the lump in his throat. "The lifeboats will certainly be reserved to the women and the children. I'm not sure we will manage to get in and... You know. Perhaps it would be best to say goodbye. So we are ready."

The young man nodded dully, completely defeated, and followed Percival without a word as he walked across the deck, yelling the names of their friends in hopes that they would answer, so that it would be easier to find them.

"Percival!" a girl suddenly screamed. "Over here!"

Looking beautiful even in the middle of this disaster, glowing in this cold night, Queenie was waving at him - at them - with a smile of true relief on her face. Next to her stood her sister and Credence, who appeared sick with worry.

"Where were you?!" the boy exclaimed, running toward Percival. "You took so long, I thought..."

"I'm right here," the other whispered, resting a light hand on the boy's shoulder, trying to convey strength and calmness through his touch. "I'm fine."

He realised that Queenie was staring at them with furrowed brows, glancing from them to Tina and Newt who had hurried to her side, clearly wondering why her sister could allow herself to be so close to the redhead without awaking Percival's wrath.

"Later," Tina tried to whisper to her sister, to no avail since the noise all around them was so loud, "I shall explain later."

"Your mother?" Newt enquired to change the topic.

"She boarded one of the first boats with your mother, Percival," Queenie answered. "She wanted to go with us but we... Tina was waiting for you."

Whether she meant Percival or Newt (or both) was left unsaid and none of them blamed the young woman for treading carefully: after all, she did not know exactly where either of the two men stood in their relation with her sister.

"And my father?" Percival added.

"He went to drink one last brandy with his friends, I believe," Credence told him gently. "He didn't see the point in waiting, since they don't... They don't accept men in the lifeboats. Only women and children."

Just like he feared. Helpless, they watched as an officer called for passengers, helping them to board another lifeboat, where a few women and children were already sitting and waiting for the launching. Not one single man of age.

"We cannot wait any longer!" Tina suddenly exclaimed, surprising everyone, and looked pointedly at her sister, "Queenie, you must go!"

The blonde woman laid a hand on her stomach, her lips quivering, and she nodded. Around them, the men shared looks of sudden understanding and found themselves unable to say anything. _Congratulations_ , they should have shouted, sporting huge grins and bearing gifts for the mother- and father-to-be. Right now though, they could only pray for the child's safety.

"You must both go," Newt corrected, "We will stay. We don't have a choice, we won't keep you here when you have perfect chances to escape. Go, the both of you."

At his words, Tina nearly leapt on the zoologist and Percival, trying to give them some privacy, whipped around and walked towards the officer by the lifeboat. Again, at least sixty people could easily board and yet, as he counted, only twenty were seated so far.

"Excuse me, Sir," he addressed the man giving the orders, noticing a nametag on his chest, "Uh, Officer Lightoller?"

"Only women and children, Sir," the latter immediately said, not even waiting to hear him out.

"I know, I know, I... I am not here for myself," Percival admitted. "There are two women with me and one of them is pregnant."

"Bring them over, they'll board this one," Lightoller agreed with a nod, "Is that all?"

"There is..." Percival halted, then blurted out, "There's also a young man."

"No, no men allow..."

"Please!" Percival shouted in distress, "Please, you have to help him! He can't swim!"

"Sir, I'm sorry," Lightoller said, as gently as he could in these circumstances, "I can't."

"The lifeboats aren't even full," the other tried again, gesturing to the passengers, "and there are many who don't even want to leave the ship! Can you not... Please? He's a light one, he shall not put the lifeboat in danger by adding himself to the lot."

Lightoller still looked reluctant but the light in his eyes had changed and finally, to Percival's greatest relief, he nodded.

"Fine," he agreed. "Just that one. We are actually short of seamen to handle the boat, so if he could help row it away..."

"He will," Percival assured the officer, "You shall not regret your decision, I promise. Thank you, Officer."

The man immediately walked back to his friends and he did not comment on Tina's red eyes, nor the way she was clutching to Newt's hand. Taking off his coat, he draped it over Credence's shoulders, who looked at him with curiosity.

"Percival?" he asked softly, unsure of what this gesture meant.

"You are leaving," he explained, pointing at the three chosen passengers.

"What?!" Credence exclaimed, "But I thought they did not accept men? Besides, I can't leave you! What are you saying?"

"Credence..." Tina tried timidly, only to be sharply interrupted.

"No! I'm not leaving you here, Percival, I can't... I... I can't do that."

Very gently, the older man cupped his lover's face between his palms, lifting the boy's head until he could see the tears in his eyes, illuminated by the stars and the distress fire rockets exploding in white sparks above their heads. When they pressed down, his lips against Credence's were light like a feather but burned at the same time, searing, branding his love for the young man in the supple, rosy flesh of his mouth. When they eventually broke apart, the boy was crying freely.

"I need you to be brave for me," Percival told him, "I need you to be strong for Tina and Queenie, and I need you to live. You cannot swim, my love. Keeping you here would be a mistake I would never forgive myself for. Officer Lightoller has agreed to give you a chance and I want you to take it."

The younger man gave a shaky nod and Percival carefully steered him to the lifeboat, followed by Newt, Tina and her sister, who whispered in her ear:

"So, Credence and Percival? Now I understand some things a little better... I hope we can all make it through."

Tina nodded with a tiny smile, thinking with a shudder that a few hours earlier, she had felt happier than ever and now, she had to part with the man who had filled her heart with promises of never-ending bliss. _One last kiss_ , she thought, _one last kiss until we are reunited_. For Newt would not remain on the ship, would he? Surely when most women and children were safe, it would be the men's turn?

"Come back to me," she whispered against his lips.

The redhead nodded, a bit shakily, and Percival laid a hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Worry not, Tina," he said, sounding so confident that she could not help but smile through the tears she had not noticed were running down her cheeks. "I shall bring him back to you, I promise."

The young woman blinked, fast, holding back a sob, and she quickly kissed Percival on the cheek before she boarded the lifeboat first and helped her sister in. Credence followed them after a last, longing touch on Percival's hand. He was the twenty-eighth and last passenger in a boat that could carry sixty and he wanted to cry at the unfairness of the situation, but he kept the tears at bay and joined the seaman at the back of the lifeboat.

As they lowered it carefully, Credence could not help but stare at his lover, trying to engrave every single one of his features in his memory. His brave smile, his gentle eyes, both telling him not to worry. Credence wanted to believe them.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more information regarding the historical characters and events in this chapter:
> 
> \- Captain Edward J. Smith was in command aboard the Titanic; after she hit the iceberg, dissatisfied by the quick check a sailor had made on the ship, Captain Smith checked her himself along with Thomas Andrew, the architect. By the end of their inspection, both knew the ship was lost. Both men died when the ship finally sank, around 2:20am.
> 
> \- The passengers were not clearly made aware of the situation: to avoid panic, none of the stewards/officers explained what had happened and pretended they were getting everyone out for a drill. Therefore, many chose to remain inside: the temperature had dropped and they didn't see the necessity of going out and freezing for a mere drill.
> 
> \- The Titanic carried 20 lifeboats for over 2200 passengers. Most of them could carry 40 people, 65 for a few others. The lifeboats were launched by two officers, Charles Lightoller and William Murdoch, who weren't sure of how many people the boats could actually carry while being lowered to sea, and chose to play it safe and didn't launch full boats. Lightoller understood "women and children first" as "woman and children only" while Murdoch allowed men to board as well once the women and children around were all already seated in the boats. Murdoch died in the disaster while Lightoller survived after he spent the night on top of one the lifeboats that had turned over.
> 
> \- Lightoller allowed one man to board the lifeboats: Arthur Peuchen, who helped to lower the boat and row it away from the Titanic since there weren't enough seamen to man the boats. Peuchen was the only exception Lightoller made.
> 
> \- Third class passengers were mostly immigrants who didn't speak English and thus had a hard time understanding what was going on/navigating through the ship. That, combined with the fact that water first invaded their quarters, resulted in the highest number of victims among the third class passengers.
> 
> \- Many passengers chose not to board the lifeboats at first: they considered they were safer on the ship (don't forget that they had not been told what was going on) and a lot of couples refused to be separated. It is only around 1am that people started to realise the seriousness of the situation and tried to board the lifeboats, sometimes violently, and created utter chaos. An officer had to fire his gun to the sky several times to keep people away and keep them in control.
> 
> That's it! Only two chapters left, I think... I'll see you next time :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I know I'm a few days late with this chapter, I apologise for that... Exams got in the way, I hope the wait didn't seem too long! Now, enjoy (maybe?)

  


Percival did not know how long he stood there, quiet next to Newt, staring at the lifeboat taking his lover away from him. He watched as it was slowly lowered to the sea, all the while thinking that it was taking too much time, was not fast enough, and he wanted Credence to be safe and away from the sinking ship as soon as possible.

At the same time though, he felt slightly ill to see the boat float away... Taking his heart and half his soul away from him. By his side, Newt did not seem to be faring much better.

One might have told them both that they were being stupid and should feel relieved and glad that their loved ones were safe, for on their part, they were still aboard a sinking ship with barely any hope to escape: Lightoller would not make the same exception twice, certainly not for two fit men who were perfectly able to swim.

"We..." Newt started after a little while, voice rough both from the cold and emotion, "We should get ready for... whatever's coming. It might be a good idea to find life jackets, don't you think?"

Percival nodded, although he was not really aware of doing so, his mind split and torn between his concern for Credence and his own fate. Newt understood though: with a sigh, he laid one hand on Percival's shoulder and squeezed, as if to anchor him or, perhaps, give him strength. Soon though, he steered the man away from the boat deck where Officer Lightoller was calling for more women and children.

"You should focus on saving yourself," the zoologist chided him gently, "If you think too much about the others, I'm afraid you won't make it."

Percival had to admit that Newt was right, no matter how much it hurt to hear those words; yet, thinking of their friends or even his mother was of no use. He could do nothing to help them, nothing at all now that they were drifting on the sea - they were on their own.

"Fine," he reluctantly agreed, "Stewards were giving out life jackets in the first-class area, maybe we should check it out."

He did not really care about the life jackets, to be honest, proof if needed that Percival was being utterly stupid, but he had to keep himself busy in order not to think too much... And if he wanted to survive and bring Newt back to Tina like he had promised, those jackets were their best chance.

They passed the band once again, still playing their cheerful tones, but now something had changed: people were not applauding the musicians anymore, they weren't clapping or singing along. The ship was listing more and more, Newt and Percival could feel it under their feet as they walked, off-balance and unsteady on their legs since the floor seemed to lean more on one side than the other.

Panicked whispers had finally begun to spread as the passengers, for the first time, started to believe that maybe this was not a drill at all, that maybe the stewards were serious when they said that everyone should go out and remain on the deck.

It was already too late for a lot of them, Percival thought as they passed by men from first and second class alike. Dressed as warmly as they had managed to get, they looked lost, waiting for someone to tell them what to do, glancing around helplessly.

Percival understood them, in a way: what was there to do? What should they do when they could not board a lifeboat and had no other choice but to wait for the Titanic to sink, or hope that another ship would arrive in time to help and bring on her board whoever she still could? He briefly thought of his father, whom Credence had seen in the dining-room with several friends of his, drinking together and enjoying one last glass of alcohol. Perhaps they should have joined them, said their goodbyes...

"No steward," Newt stated as he walked down the first-class hallways, leading Percival who did not, even for his own sake, managed to feel anxious by this new turn of events. "I don't reckon there are much people left here, they must already have gone to the deck."

"Probably," Percival answered, "We were the firsts to be warned, after all."

Firsts and also the closest ones to the boat deck. Now that he was thinking about it a little, he had mostly seen passengers from the first and second class but barely a soul from the third class, not since Newt and he had left the poorer quarters to make their way up to the deck... These passengers were plenty though, how could they have just... disappeared?

"We should go downstairs," Newt suggested, although hesitantly, "If the stewards are still mustering the last passengers, surely they are in the second- or third-class areas?"

"It's too dangerous," Percival objected as soon as he heard the words, "When we left the third class, water was already rising fast, I can't even imagine what it must be now!"

"I know," Newt said, dejected. "But second-class areas should still be viable, I think. It's worth a look, just to be sure."

Feeling like he would regret this, Percival nodded his assent. What was the point of returning to the deck anyway, if they did not have their life jackets? None of them would be able to leave the Titanic while she was sinking; once she would have though, maybe they had a chance... They could swim towards one of the lifeboats if they had not drifted too far away from the ship but without the life jackets, Percival doubted that they would make it.

Even with them, a little, nasty voice whispered in his mind, he could not be sure to reach the boats... In these waters, this field of ice, the sea must be so cold they could not survive long without freezing.

Shaking his head to push these forlorn thoughts away, Percival followed Newt down yet another staircase, leading to the second-class hallways where - thank God! - two stewards were gesturing to a few passengers still in their rooms to leave their luggage in there and move to the higher levels. One of them carried a bunch of folded jackets under his arm.

"Sir!" the man exclaimed when he saw Percival, directly assuming that he was from the first class based on the clothes he was wearing, far more elegant than Newt's. "What are you doing here? All passengers must go to the..."

"Boat deck, I know," Percival interrupted, feeling tired of hearing the same pointless orders over and over again. "Now, before we do, could we have two of these life jackets? Please?"

Having remembered his manners just in time, Percival threw in a tiny smile, one that actually meant _hurry_ more than _pretty please_. It did the job though, for the steward immediately handed them over before he joined his colleague into helping the other passengers out. Percival secured the life jacket around his waist and tied the knots at his hips and shoulders, while Newt removed his blue coat to do the same, then put it on again.

"You might want to ditch it," Percival suggested. "I don't reckon swimming with that coat will be easy."

Which was exactly why he had given his own coat to Credence, on top of keeping his lover warm - but he could not think about him, not now.

"No," Newt answered, agreeing with a nod, "but I will try to keep it as long as I..."

A roar drowned the rest of his sentence and the two men turned around at the same time, eyes wide in wonder. What was that again?

"Third class!" one of the stewards exclaimed all of a sudden in a gasp, "They... They surely broke down the barred gates! They're coming!"

"You locked them away?" Newt asked in disbelief.

No one answered his question though: suddenly, hundreds of terrified passengers from the third class invaded the hallways, coming from the lower decks where the water seemed to have risen up to waist-level. These people looked frantic, tears shone in the eyes of the children that the stronger men carried on their shoulders, women had gathered the hem of their long, wet skirts to run more easily, and panic had taken a hold of the whole mass of passengers.

In an instant, they had entered the hallways, running away from the disaster that was chasing them down, pushing each other and not caring for the ones who fell in the melee and were trampled on by hurried feet.

Someone collided into Newt, who was still standing stunned on his spot, and the young man grunted as the movement of the others dragged him away, away from Percival.

"Newt!" the latter yelled, even as frightened passengers pushed him in the other direction, "Newt!"

"Mister Gra..."

Percival did not hear any more, as he was dragged to a staircase and forced to climb up in order to avoid falling like so many others had. When he re-emerged, he realised that he was back on the main deck. Without Newt. Shit. This was the worst possible scenario, they should stick together and help each other out! Now, how was he supposed to find the redhead again? Good God, he hoped that the zoologist had not been pushed to the floor and was not hurt... Because if he was, Percival highly doubted his chances to find the young man again.

It would be foolish to try to go back to the place he had just left in order to look for Newt; dozens of passengers were still coming out and he would never managed to go against them and reach the hallway where the red-haired man and he had been separated. The water must still be rising and it would not take long before the sleeping areas were completely lost. Percival really, truly hoped that Newt had walked out of there.

His best chance at finding him again, he thought, was to go back to the boat deck where they had last stood together, when they said goodbyes to their loved ones. If luck had not completely bailed on him, maybe Newt would have the same idea and they would reunite there.

The closest Percival got to the boat deck though, the most he realised that it was utter chaos. People were screaming at the crew to let them board and worse, several passengers had begun to fight, punching each other to make sure that their wife, their sister, their child could escape first. Percival understood that despair well enough but he did not think arguing with the officers would be useful, not anymore, for it was now completely plain how short on lifeboats the Titanic was: on this side of the deck, only one boat remained and he knew firsthand how many passengers would be allowed in. Too few.

Turning away from this dead end, Percival tried to spot Newt again, slipping unnoticed through the fighters, until someone grabbed his arm and yanked him backward.

"You ain't gonna board before us, pal!"

Percival did not have the time to react before the guy who held him made him turn and punched him under his jaw, sending him toppling to the wet, slippery floor. A metallic taste flooded his mouth when he accidentally bit his lip and he spat, struggling to understand what had just happened. Lying on his back and wincing in pain, he raised his hand in front of him when he saw that his attacker was coming back for him.

"I'm not trying to board," he explain, hoping to sound convincing enough, "Don't..."

But the other man, in his panic, was not listening to him. As he approached him menacingly, fists raised, Percival could only roll over and scramble to his feet, but not fast enough. A well-aimed kick in the kidneys had him back on his knees in an instant, spikes of pain radiating from his lower back, and he swore. He really did not need this right now and he did not think he would have the strength to fight.

"Hey!" someone yelled behind him, before a blue shape jumped above him to stand between Percival and the threat, "Get lost!"

A bit lightheaded, he seized the opportunity to stand up while the other was distracted, only to have his arm grabbed again - more gently this time - before he was led away.

"Newt?" he asked in disbelief as he realised exactly who had helped him. "How did you find me?"

"I guess I got lucky," Newt answered with a bright smile, such an odd sight in these dire circumstances. "Are you okay?"

"I think so," Percival said slowly, probing his jaw with his fingertips, "It just hurts a bit when I speak but I should be fi... Aaaah!"

Newt screamed when he did and their hands met and clutched to one another as the floor suddenly disappeared from under their feet. Heavy with water, the Titanic was tilting down, the stern rising fast while the bow entered the sea; both men were swept away and slid down a few meters, their free hand desperately scrabbling around in hopes to catch something, anything, to stop their fall.

Shouts were rising from all around them, sometimes abruptly interrupted as people hit a pole, each other, or fell in the water. Percival damn well thought they would be dealt the same fate, when Newt suddenly caught a thick rope dangling from seemingly nowhere, but it held as he grabbed it. It burnt and sliced his palm as the young man kept sliding down a bit longer, brought down by Percival's height, and he hissed in pain when his shoulder gave a twinge of protest.

"Everything's all right?" he yelled, looking down where Percival was panting and holding onto his hand.

"Let me get back to you on that!" the other answered. "We have to move, quickly! To the stern!"

Fighting the pain in their body, they got back to their knees, helping each other to their feet in order to limp their way up the tilting deck, towards the stern.

"It won't be long anymore!" Percival said while they half-walked, half-ran, stumbling every few steps. "The bow will sink first, if we reach the stern before that, maybe we still have a chance!"

Newt nodded, tightening his hold on Percival's shoulder as he felt the other man's exhaustion through his slowing pace.

"We will make it!" the redhead said with another one of his disarming smiles. "We'll see Tina and Credence again, Mister Graves!"

Percival lifted his eyes to stare at the other man and nod, but his eyes widened in sudden terror when he saw the new threat coming down onto them: with a horrifying sound of crushed metal, the cables that held one of the three funnels of the ship up straight broke, one after the other, and with nothing left to support it, the funnel suddenly came crashing down.

"Move, move!" Percival yelled as he pushed Newt aside with all his strength, following closely behind.

But he was not fast enough. With a rumbling roar, one that would forever remain stuck in Newt's memory, the funnel toppled, crushing people under its weight. The scream of agony that Percival let out when it collapsed on his legs froze Newt to the bone.

"Mister Graves!" he yelled, turning back, falling on his knees next to the trapped man, whose legs were not visible under the funnel and the splashing water all around them, "Hang on, I'll... I'll get you out of here, I'll..."

But the man was stuck under tons of steel and there was nothing to lift the funnel with, no one to help him. Eyes filled with resignation, Percival slowly wrapped his hand around Newt's forearm.

"Go," he breathed out, pain tasting bitter on the tip of his tongue. "I'm done."

"No!" Newt protested, shaking his head without realising that he was crying now. "I can't leave you here, you can't stay here!"

"Newt," the other whispered with difficulty, "Even if you got me out... I... My legs... must be in pieces. Go. I promised to Tina..."

"But you also have someone to go back to!" Newt exclaimed.

Percival closed his eyes and he suddenly looked more pained than the zoologist had ever seen him, not even when the funnel had fallen on him.

"I know," he whispered, swallowing the thick lump in his throat. "Tell Credence... Tell him that I love him, that I would have loved him all my life if I'd had the chance. Tell him that... when I died, I was thinking of him. And I was not afraid."

Blinded by his own tears, Newt could only nod feverishly and he barely realised it when Percival gently let go of his arm and pushed him away.

"Go," he repeated, "while you still can."

As if higher powers had understood his words, the ships lights suddenly flickered, before they went out once and for all.

"Go!" Percival shouted, "Hurry!"

And this time, Newt obeyed. Fumbling about, barely able to see a thing, he had to turn his back on Percival and move up, up, up, slipping, holding on, battling with his own body to stay upright and _live_.

Pure instinct had him moving though, for his brain was still with the other man, the one who had briefly been a companion of misery and a friend. He did not know how he reached the stern but he did, holding onto the ship handrail, just in time: seconds later, the ship split apart with a scream of metal. Newt almost lost his grip on the railing when the stern rose in the sky, fast, dragged by the sinking bow, but he held on tight for the few minutes it simply floated on the sea. Around him, the few people who'd had the same idea looked terrified and he knew, even without a mirror, that he sported the same expression.

The stern began to flood, plunging rapidly. When he hit the surface of the sea, Newt gasped at the cold that suddenly spread through him as he went down, piercing like thousand knifes suddenly breaking his skin. Kicking blindly, he tried to go back to the surface, finally taking off his blue coat that was useless now.

He came back up. Coughing and spluttering, the first gulp of air that he took, although icy, felt like a second birth. He could have cried in joy, had he not be scared that his tears would turn into ice cubes on his face. But then, he opened his eyes.

The Titanic had disappeared from view, sinking at the bottom of the ocean, but what remained on the surface made a terrifying show: hundreds of bodies, life jackets still on, were thrashing around, wailing, calling for help. It was too dark to see well but Newt could not catch sight of any of the lifeboats in the immediate vicinity - and despair filled his heart once again. He would not survive for long in these cold waters.

Already, he could not feel his fingertips nor his toes anymore. Every wave that hit him felt like a blanket of cold covering him, lulling him to sleep. Sleeping meant dying, he knew that. He had to keep moving, stay awake, move away from the disaster - for people were grappling at each other to stay afloat and many drowned who had been pushed under by others, without even realising it.

In the middle of this catastrophe though, luck had not completely given up on them yet: debris from the ship suddenly started to come up, small pieces of wood but also larger chunks, and not too far from him, he saw a woman climb clumsily on what seemed to be a door. When a timber beam broke the surface, Newt did not hesitate.

Swimming as fast as he could, every muscle in his body protesting and hurting, he reached the beam and held onto it, relieved for the support, however less sturdy than a door. He would take what he could get.

Newt did not know how long he stayed in the water - he had no mean to know. The seconds were ticking away though and soon, the cries of the other passengers had died out while he was shivering uncontrollably, his whole body twitching, teeth chattering. His eyelids felt heavy and started to flutter close as he slowly slipped in and out of consciousness, woken up every few seconds by a powerful spasm of his legs, his arms.

He did not believe it when he heard someone, a man, shout in the distance. _Anyone alive? Can anyone hear me?_ It took Newt everything he had left in him to lift his heavy head, shake himself off the slumber that was threatening to overpower him. In front of his bleary eyes, a lifeboat had appeared and for a second, he thought that he was dreaming - or maybe dead. But the boat was coming closer, the voice became clearer, louder, and Newt knew that if he could make it to these men who were looking for survivors, he would live. See Tina again.

That very last thought was all he needed to push himself off the timber beam and fight the cold water once more, in one last battle. Slowly, the redhead started to swim, tried to find his voice to cry out for help - but he could not. Desperate, scared that the rescue team would not see him and leave him there to die, he stopped moving and decided to use what little energy he had left to slice his arms through the water, splashing around, making as much noise as possible.

And it worked. This time, Newt could not hold back tears of relief when the lifeboat steadily turned towards him and several hands reached out for him, hauling him up to safety.

  


  


Newt was exhausted when he was finally hoisted up aboard the RMS Carpathia in a sling, while some others climbed up rope ladders - but one hour in freezing water and a few more hours of shivering in a lifeboat had eaten up all his energy. He could barely stand, so he gratefully accepted the blanket a sailor handed him before he moved away, giving room the other survivors who were arriving, and he slowly stumbled across the deck, hoping to find a corner where he could sit and rest.

As he walked, he looked around for familiar faces, hoping, praying, until he caught sight of a tall and thin silhouette, a bit blurry in front of his tired eyes, but then the silhouette was nudging two others resting on a bench and suddenly, clear and bright as the sun, he saw Tina.

"Newt!" she shouted, jumping on her feet and running toward him at full speed, only slowing down so that she could embrace him without hurting him. "You are here! Thank God, I thought you were... When the ship broke apart, I thought..."

She trailed off, sobbing as she hid her face in the crook of his neck, but she immediately stepped back.

"You are freezing!" she realised, "Here, take this..."

In an instant, she had taken off her coat and draped it over his own shoulders, adding to it the blanket he still held in his hands and had been too tired to put on his back by himself. She then guided him toward the bench she had just left and made him sit, kneeling in front of him so that she could rub and warm his cramping legs.

On his left, Queenie smiled at him with tears in her eyes; she looked pale and exhausted, but other than that, she actually seemed to be quite fine. Newt would later learn that, knowing about her pregnancy, the other passengers who had been with her in the lifeboat had taken good care of her, making sure she was as comfortable and warm as possible. She had been one of the firsts to be rescued by the Carpathia.

On his right... Credence, still wrapped in the black coat that Percival had given to him, seemed paler than Newt had ever seen him but a tired smile curled up his lips as the young butler glanced at him, then looked around, hope shining in his eyes, searching for his lover in the crowd.

"I'm so glad that you made it," Credence told Newt with genuine relief. "Percival must not be far behind you, I think I will go and check the arrivals to welcome him back."

The zoologist felt his heart bleed for the young man, so hopeful and just about to get his dreams crushed.

"Credence..." Newt started on a low tone, hesitant, not sure how to phrase the bad news.

He knew that there was no proper way to tell him, that no matter what words he chose to use, the pain Credence would go through would be unbearable and that nothing would soothe it. In front of him, Tina had frozen, looking up in mixed wonder and fear as she suddenly understood that Percival's absence was not a mere delay, that he was not held back somewhere.

Credence though, Credence did not want to read too much in the redhead's hesitation, although the hopeful smile on his lips faded a little.

"What?" he asked, voice low and scared. "He's... He's fine, right? Percival and you were separated but he's... He's fine, he has to be!"

Queenie stood up to walk up to him with her arms open, ready to wrap the young man in a hug, but he shook his head and closed his eyes, as if it would help him not to face the harsh reality.

"Darling..." she started, sadness plain on her beautiful face.

"I'm so sorry, Credence," Newt finally whispered, lifting a weak arm to take the boy's trembling hand in his and squeeze. "Percival fought until the very end to come back to you but he... He didn't make it."

Slowly, Credence fell to his knees. The same helplessness he had first experienced as Percival told him to leave him to his fate filled Newt's heart when the young man let out the wail of a wounded animal.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me? Please? Thank you for reading so far and staying with me despite the pain... I'll come back quickly with the epilogue :)
> 
> Just like the last time, a few more explanations:
> 
> \- Third-class passengers were the lasts to arrive on the boat deck and thus, very few managed to board a lifeboat. Beside the fact that most of them didn't know what was going on, like I said in the last chapter, the crew also locked the gates that separated the third-class quarters from the other parts of the ship. Remember that scene in the movie where Jack and Rose are stuck behind a gate and have to get the key underwater? Well, those gates were real (used to separate third-class passengers from the others in case of contagious diseases, for example) and were indeed locked during the first part of the evacuation: passengers from first and second class were the top priority.
> 
> \- The sea was so cold (28°F or -2°C) that most people who fell from the ship died of a heart attack, caused by the shock with the suddenly low temperature of the water. Most people died from the cold after twenty minutes.
> 
> \- The Titanic fully sank around 2:20 am. By 3am, an officer gathered several lifeboats together and dispatched the survivors between them to free one of the boats and go back to the people in the water, hoping to save a few of them. By 4am, the first rescue ship, RMS Carpathia, arrived on site to take in the survivors. The boarding was slow and the last one to board was Officer Lightoller, who came in around 9am.
> 
> \- There were 2224 passengers on board, crew included. Only 710 were saved.


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Here comes the last chapter, finally! I passed my last exam last week and I now know that I aced them all, which allowed me to relax and finish this epilogue. I hope that you will like it!

  


Hurried footsteps echoed in the hallway as a small figure clomped down the stairs and ran through the corridor, towards the open windows of the balcony overhanging the garden.

"Uncle Credence!" the silhouette, a little girl, exclaimed, "Uncle Credence!"

Standing outside, under the sun in a light shirt and with his sleeves rolled up, Credence turned around, just in time to gather the child in his arms and lift her up with a gentle smile.

"What are you doing here, young lady?" he asked, holding back a wince as she held onto his neck and accidentally tugged on his long, black hair. "Shouldn't you be with your mother, deciding what to wear to welcome your father back?"

"But I can't find a pretty dress," she pouted, turning wide eyes that were as green as Newt's towards him. "Next time papa goes to see polar bears, I want to go with him!"

"There you are!" a voice suddenly exclaimed, sounding a little angry. "Do not ever do that again, running away like... Oh, Credence!"

Tina trailed off, staring at her friend with a somewhat apologetic expression, that turned sadder and sadder the more she kept looking at him. Eventually, she looked at her daughter, whose resemblance to her father was so striking, and she furrowed her brows.

"You are going to change, _now_ , and clean up the mess in your bedroom," she said sternly. "Hop, hop!"

Grumbling, the little girl let go of Credence and trotted in the opposite direction, leaving the adults together.

"I am so sorry that Ellie barged in like this," Tina apologised, taking a few steps closer to her friend. "I know you do not wish for company in days like this one... I will leave you to your thoughts but... Do you need anything? Anything at all?"

Slowly, Credence shook his head and smiled a little.

"Thank you but I'm all right," he said, although Tina knew better than to trust his facade of peacefulness - Credence had not truly been fine for ten long years. "If Ellie wants to come back when she is dressed though, I won't mind. Her presence doesn't bother me at all."

With a quick nod, Tina wheeled around and strode down the hallway, probably en route to her daughter's room to check that the eight-year-old girl wasn't turning her bedroom into an even finer mess than before instead of tidying it a bit. Just like her father, Ellie tended to live in an organised chaos that upset every single soul of the mansion but her and Newt; she lacked his shyness however, which meant that she had actually inherited Tina's bluntness.

God, Credence wished Percival could have seen her... He was certain that he would have loved her. The young man had always wondered how Percival would act and react around children, so having both Queenie and Tina become mothers would have seemed like the perfect opportunity to witness him being all uncle-like to the kids. Yes, he would have made a marvellous uncle, had the Titanic not hit an iceberg this very day, exactly ten years ago.

Credence closed his eyes. He did not want to think about it, of course he did not, but how could he keep his mind far away from these thoughts when every fibre of his being made him remember, when the newspapers wrote special editions for the tenth anniversary of the disaster?

Ten years, an awfully long time for some people but for Credence, the events from ten years ago seemed to have happened yesterday. The screams that came from the passengers who had remained on the ship and, later, who were trying to stay afloat in the water still echoed in his mind. Worse, he could still remember the brief hope that had filled his heart at the sight of Newt, exhausted but alive, when he had thought that maybe Percival had survived as well.

At first, Credence had not wanted to believe that his lover was gone, dead. He had hoped, hoped that Percival had made it out somehow, and perhaps he was hurt and that was the reason why he could not join Credence yet, but in every scenario the young man imagined, his lover was alive.

As days and then weeks passed by though, he had to accept the truth: Percival was not coming back. And for a while... Credence had thought that he would follow his lover. Oh, it had not been a process that he was aware of, he had no even hoped to follow him, but... He did not - _could_ not - eat. He could not sleep either, no more than he could breathe at times, or rest or think of something else than his last instants with Percival. For a while, Credence had been in a bad place.

He had never felt so alone before: Tina had Newt, Queenie had Jacob and their child to come... The only one who had lost as much as him, or more, was Percival's mother. The Titanic had taken her son and her husband away from her in the worst possible way and the grief had gnawed at her relentlessly. She had died of sorrow not a full year after the disaster.

In the end, it was Queenie and her child who had saved Credence: her little boy was so full of energy, so full of life, that he had brought to the young man a new perspective, new hopes, and the desire to see how this baby would grow and become a man. Eventually, when it was time for him to learn to read and write, Credence had been the one to teach him, after quitting the job at the bakery that Jacob had been kind enough to offer him some time after the disaster.

And then, it had been Tina's turn to reveal her pregnancy. A little while after the tragedy, she and Newt had tentatively announced their relationship, unsure of what her mother, who had been so eager to see her marry the heir of a rich family like Percival, would say to this turn of events.

Surprisingly enough, she had merely nodded to that, accepting that her oldest daughter had decided of her life for herself... Newt privately thought that she imagined Percival's loss had broken Tina's heart - which was not quite true, although she had been affected by his death, due to their starting, tentative friendship and everything he had been willing to do for her happiness - and so she did not dare to impose on her daughter's love life any longer.

So, ten years later, they had moved on and they were happy, blessed with Ellie - and if Credence was right, a second child would be there soon enough: Tina had been turning down the wine that was offered at dinner for a few days now and she seemed to be constantly glowing. Her and Newt's happiness would grow even more and Credence would be glad for them, he truly would, but he... He was still stuck in the past, in the cold arms of a ghost.

"Uncle Credence?" a small voice resounded behind him.

Turning around, Credence faced Ellie, who had come back now that she was properly clad in a baby blue dress, her hair combed and tied with a lavender ribbon. She looked a bit shy, as if she did not dare to speak and ask the question she had on her mind.

"What is it, Ellie?" Credence prompter her gently, waiting.

The little girl seemed to struggle with her words but then, she eventually breathed out:

"Why do you look so sad?"

Ah. Yes, he supposed he did look as forlorn as he felt... No wonder that a bubbly child such as Ellie would find this odd and would be curious about it. But how to explain to a child that he longed for the one person he would never see again?

"I..." he tried, having some trouble to find his voice. "It's... Do you remember the story your parents told you once? About the big ship that... sank?"

Ellie nodded, her eyes widening.

"I do!" she exclaimed, "And mama said she never wanted to go on the sea again!"

That, Credence perfectly understood. He shared the feeling, even. It would be too painful, impossible to bear: how would he ever board a ship, if all he could think about was how, the last time he did so, his lover and he had said their goodbyes, how every single one of his hopes had been shattered by ice?

"Uncle Credence?" Ellie's voice interrupted the trail of his thoughts. "You're doing it again. Looking sad."

A weak and short-lived laugh escaped his lips. She was right. He could feel the sorrow weighing on his shoulders... A burden that he did not believe he would ever be rid of.

"I was on that ship," Credence said softly. "Ten years ago, when it went under. But I wasn't alone: I had a friend, a very dear friend, who... remained on the ship. He didn't..."

He stopped, unable to go further, but Ellie did not have the same problem as he did.

"Is it Percival?" she asked in earnest, unaware of the way she was twisting the knife in the old but still bleeding wound in Credence's heart. "I heard mama and papa say his name once!"

For a second, he was unable to answer. Hearing his lover's name said so freely, so innocently, without an ounce of sadness was... both a pain and a relief. For ten long years, Percival's name had been seldom pronounced by the inhabitants of this house, as if they all feared to keep the consuming fire of despair burning into Credence's veins by reminding him of whom he had lost. As if he could ever forget him...

"Y... Yes," he managed to stutter, choking on the lump in his throat. "His name was Percival."

"They said that he saved papa's life," Ellie added, adoration obvious both in her eyes and in her voice. "What was he like?"

Credence hesitated, not knowing where to begin, what to start with. Percival had been many things, some of which he would never reveal but would instead fiercely guard, keep for himself to cherish in the secret of his heart. With a sigh, Credence knelt down then sat on the balcony, resting his back against the iron balustrade.

"Percival..." he started slowly, softly, as he took one of Ellie's hand in his and looked at her, "Percival was a kind man. He was... brave. Loving. Dedicated. He liked to surprise people and see the delight in their eyes, but he hated surprises and gifts given to him, for he never knew how to thank the generous people properly. He could be taciturn, at times, and he preferred to keep silent rather than say the wrong thing. He was very considerate."

Credence took a deep breath, lifting his head towards the sky. He blinked fast, trying not to give in to the tears he could feel coming.

"He was a handsome fellow too," he added with a smile when he was certain that his cheeks would not get wet if he kept talking, "A bit smaller than myself - and he didn't like the reminder too much."

Percival had to rise on his tippy toes to kiss him whenever Credence did not indulge him and leaned down a little. That he did not like, but he loved to lay in bed in his boy's arms instead of spooning him. One of the many details that Credence would remain silent about.

Eventually, he whispered:

"He was always trying to do his best, both for himself and his loved ones, even in dire situations. Percival was the kind of man who made sacrifices so that others would not need to."

Ellie looked at him in silence, certainly pondering his words, but she said after a little while:

"You sound like you loved him."

He glanced at her in surprise - was he that transparent? Perhaps he was not used to secrecy anymore... Credence could not tell whether she spoke of the kind of love that he felt for her or the love that Newt and Tina shared, though. Whichever it could be, Ellie did not seem to blame him nor judge him for it. So... She would interpret his words as she pleased.

"I did," Credence answered truthfully.

Percival had been the love of his life. Had they been married, a pleasant dream, they would have promised to love and protect each other forever... A promise that Percival had honoured that night, when he had arranged for a lifeboat to take Credence away. Ellie's father was not the only one who owed Percival his life.

Eventually, under the onslaught of memories, a lonely tear rolled down the man's pale cheek and a broken whisper passed his lips, only loud enough for the little girl to hear.

"I still do."

Ellie remained silent but she slowly crawled in Credence's lap to hug him, tightly, her little arms wrapping themselves around his slender neck. Perhaps she did not fully understand the true extent of Credence's pain and grief, but she was willing to offer comfort nonetheless and it meant the world to him.

_Yes_ , he thought as he hugged the little girl back, _Percival would have loved her_.

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of thanks to everyone for taking the time to read this story, to subscribe, leave kudos and most importantly, comments. Every comment was helpful and motivating, so thank you to all the readers who shared their thoughts on the story with me!
> 
> In the near future, I will finish my other [Gradence AU](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10692855/chapters/23681433) and I will probably publish a one-shot with a pairing from another fandom that I love, Marcus and Esca from _The Eagle of the Ninth_. Perhaps I'll hear from you again with one of those stories? Until next time!


End file.
